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Message: <blockquote data-quote="jmseads" data-source="post: 802699" data-attributes="member: 28572">-----------Our famous Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flyingfor the first time. Here are some incidents which took place during thattrip.GETTING ONAt Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board theplane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost mybalance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottomof the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first timeand he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket.I'll give you some later! "EMBARKATION CARDWhen it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card tofill. Udurawana started filling.Full Name : Heen Banda UdurawanaSex : Ticked the Female Box and wrote below : unlike these foreigners, wealways have sex with females !GETTING OFFGetting off Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excitedand anxious to get off. So he went to the door before anyone, and preparedto jump down. "Wait sir, Wait" cried an air hostess. "75 Kilograms" repliedUdurawana and jumped off the plane !HURTSeeing Udurawana jump off the plane, an airport worker came running to hisaid.   "Sir, Are you hurt? ", he asked, helping Udurawanna to stand up."No, I am not Hurt. I am Udurawana" he replied.IN THE HOSPITALIn the Hospital After his jump from the plane, Udurawana was taken to adoctor to be treated for minor injuries. While awaiting his turn fortreatment, Udurawana smiled with an old Englishman sitting next to him."Hello" said the Englishman " I'm suffering from Influenza" "Hello" repliedUdurawana. " I'm Udurawana from Sri Lanka" The Englishman confused, said "Imean my Influenza... came from Catarrh". I know, I know replied Udurawana."Though I say Sri Lanka, I am also from Pettah."CONFERENCEConference proceedings 1Fortunately, the injuries were not serious and Udurawana was able toparticipate in the conference. The Chairperson said "Mr. Udurawana from SriLanka will now address you !" Udurawana rose from his seat, and said:"Udurawana Walawwa No. 29, Ranawana Road, Katugastota, Kandy, Sri Lanka."Conference proceedings 2When Udurawana announced his postal address to the audience, his Secretarycame for assistance. "That is not what you are supposed to do, Sir", hesaid, giving him a five-page written-speech. "You are supposed to speak tothem. Please read this speech to them!" Udurawana started reading aloud.Other than for a few mistakes in pronouncing, things were okay for a fewminutes. Then, suddenly, Udurawana shouted: " Patto!"The audience got a bit excited, but Udurawana continued to read as ifnothing happened. After another few minutes, another loud "Patto!" washeard.   Udurawana's secretary wanted to find out the reason for this,so hecarefully followed the written speech. And he found that..... UDURAWANA WASREADING THE 'P.T.O.' AS PATTO!LUNCH BREAKDuring the conference lunch break, Udurawana dropped in at a restaurantwith an English friend. The friend ordered a Fanta and our Udurawanaordered a Coke. The Suddah friend sipped the Fanta and said, "Aaah.....Fantastic...."Our friend Udurawana sipped the Coke and yelled,"Aaaaaaah.....Cockastic...."TENNISUdurawana went to play tennis with another delegate. He was playing aftersome time and most of his shots ended up hitting the net. The opponentshouted " Hey mate, your balls are too low ! " Udurawana replied " Don'tyou know these Sri Lankan Velona underwears!, must go to M.C and buy somegood crocodile ones ! ".AT THE BARIt was a chilly day and as he wanted to warm himself up, he went to a  PUB.He saw two Englishmen sitting near the counter and joined them. The firstEnglishmen said to the bar man "JOHNNY WALKER, single" The Bar man servedhim. The second Englishmen said"JACK DANIEL, single". The Bar man served him too. Now it was Udurawana'sturn and he said: "HEEN BANDA UDURAWANA, MARRIED" !!!Udurawana gets ready ,wears a tie, coat ,goes out,climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.Udurawana:"I've been promoted as branch manager."__________________________________________Once Udurawana professor asked a plumber to come tohis college.U know Why? Because he wanted to checkwhere the question paper is leaking...__________________________________________Udurawana: I haven't slept all night in the train.Friend: why ?Udurawana: Got upper berth.Friend: Why didn't you exchange?Udurawana: Oye, there was nobody to exchange with inthe lower berth..______________________________________________The teacher lecturing on population -In India, after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to akid.Udurawana stands up - we must find & stop her!._______________________________________________Udurawana -why are all these people running?Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.Udurawana - If only the winner will get the cup, whyare others running?________________________________________________Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentenceinto future tense.Udurawana: The future tense is "you will go to jail".________________________________________________Udurawana found the answer to the most difficultquestion ever - "What comes first, the Chicken or theegg?"Aiyooo, what ever you order first will come first."________________________________________________Udurawana wins 20 Million Rupees from a Rs. 20 lotteryticket. Dealer gave 11 Mil after deducting tax.Angry Udurawana: "Give me 20 Million or else return my20 Rupees back.!"________________________________________________Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver you thisPacket.Udurawana:- Why did you come so far? Instead you couldhave posted it....________________________________________________Udurawana proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yrelder to you'...........Udurawana said 'Oye No Problem Chandra, I'll marry youNEXT YEAR._________________________________________________Udurawana's wish - When I die, I wanna die like mygrandpa, who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaminglike all the passengers in the car he was driving__________________________________________________Udurawana at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horriblelooking thing is what you call modern art ?Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror_________________________________________________A man asked Udurawana, why Mahinda Rajapaksha goeswalking at evening and not in the morning.Udurawana replied ''aiyooo Mahinda Rajapaksha is PM,not AM''.********************</blockquote>

Verification: Asuwa dahayen wadi kalama keeyada?

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