Marriage
Udurawana's Girl Friend: I'm one year elder than you....will it be effected badly to our marriage?
Udurawana : No, not at all.....We'll then marry next year.
__________________________________________
Hidden Camera's
Mrs.Udurawana caught Udurawana searching high and low all
around his living room.
Mrs. Udurawana: "What are you searching for?"
Mr. Udurawana: "Hidden cameras!"
Mrs. Udurawana: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Mr. Udurawana: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know that?"
__________________________________________
Relaxing
Udurawana was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"
Uduravana answered, "No, I am Udurawana"
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Uduravana answered, "No! No! Me Udurawana!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Uduravana was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked,
"Are you Relaxing?"
The other man was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Uduravana slapped him on his face and said,
"Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
__________________________________________
Heaven
Udurawana died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules are in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:
1.Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2.How many seconds are there in a year?
Udurawana thought for a few minutes and answered.
1.The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said,
"OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow as an answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
Uduravana replied,
"Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..."
Saint Peter opened the gate without another word.
__________________________________________
TheWashBasin
Udurawana goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him,
"Sir, what are you doing?"
Udurawana replies, " Read this board here, it says " Wash Basin ".
__________________________________________
English Exam
Udurawana finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied
"Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, and
thought, at last I wrote the answer THUNK!!!"
__________________________________________
Answer the following questions in brief
Udurawana is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes,and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his pant, socks and watch.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
" I am only following the instructions here," he says, " it says here,
"Answer the following questions in brief ".
_________________________________________
The Postman
The Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this parcel
Udurawana : Why did you come so far ? Instead you could have posted it.
__________________________________________
Coffee Shop
Udurawana and his wife went to a coffee shop .
Udurawana said Hurry Up Drink quickly.....!!!.
His Wife asked why...???
Udurawana said
Hot Coffee Rs. 5 and, Cold Coffee Rs 10"
Udurawana's Girl Friend: I'm one year elder than you....will it be effected badly to our marriage?
Udurawana : No, not at all.....We'll then marry next year.
__________________________________________
Hidden Camera's
Mrs.Udurawana caught Udurawana searching high and low all
around his living room.
Mrs. Udurawana: "What are you searching for?"
Mr. Udurawana: "Hidden cameras!"
Mrs. Udurawana: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Mr. Udurawana: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know that?"
__________________________________________
Relaxing
Udurawana was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"
Uduravana answered, "No, I am Udurawana"
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Uduravana answered, "No! No! Me Udurawana!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Uduravana was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked,
"Are you Relaxing?"
The other man was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Uduravana slapped him on his face and said,
"Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
__________________________________________
Heaven
Udurawana died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules are in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:
1.Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2.How many seconds are there in a year?
Udurawana thought for a few minutes and answered.
1.The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said,
"OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow as an answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
Uduravana replied,
"Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..."
Saint Peter opened the gate without another word.
__________________________________________
TheWashBasin
Udurawana goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him,
"Sir, what are you doing?"
Udurawana replies, " Read this board here, it says " Wash Basin ".
__________________________________________
English Exam
Udurawana finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied
"Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, and
thought, at last I wrote the answer THUNK!!!"
__________________________________________
Answer the following questions in brief
Udurawana is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes,and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his pant, socks and watch.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
" I am only following the instructions here," he says, " it says here,
"Answer the following questions in brief ".
_________________________________________
The Postman
The Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this parcel
Udurawana : Why did you come so far ? Instead you could have posted it.
__________________________________________
Coffee Shop
Udurawana and his wife went to a coffee shop .
Udurawana said Hurry Up Drink quickly.....!!!.
His Wife asked why...???
Udurawana said
Hot Coffee Rs. 5 and, Cold Coffee Rs 10"
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