1. Udurawana walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I bor-rowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our Phone Directory."
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2. Udurawana was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
dropped a load when it was directly over him.
Udurawana says, "Good thing that cows & elephants don't fly."
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3. Udurawana is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"
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4. Udurawana asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.
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5. Udurawana was painting his living room one hot day.
His friend asked him, " why are you wearing two jackets?".
"Because," said Udurawana,"The directions on the can said to put on two coats. "
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6. Udurawana was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked Udurawana why he kept painting less each day????.
Udurawana replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can. "
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7. Udurawana ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Udurawana : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Udurawana : 'What problem?'
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8. Having lost his donkey, Udurawana got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
Udurawana replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
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9.Udurawana is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he might be thinking??
"Or...shit.... today again I will have to fall......"
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10.
Siripala saw that his friend Udurawana was very depressed. "What happened ?" asked Siripala.
Udurawana : I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday .
Siripala : "How come ?"
Udurawana : "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Sri lanka was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that Sri lanka would win, but I lost the bet."
Siripala : "But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"
Udurawana : " I bet on the highlights too "
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11.An Englishman, an American and Udurawana are called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent.
Udurawana says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.
"I think...", ..........BUZZZZZZ
"I think...", .........BUZZZZZZ
"I think...", .........BUZZZZZZ
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12.Udurawana with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron an stuck to my ear."
"Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. .. what happened to the other ear?"
"The man called back again."
************* THE END*************
