Udurawana & the Race

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Udurawana -why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Udurawana - If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

One day Udurawana visited a museum with a foreign visitor. The visitor saw a big skull and asked what that was.
Udurawana said "that was the skull of King Sri Wickrama Rajasinghe".
After a few miniutes, the visitor saw another small skull of a monkey and asked udurawana what that was.
Udurawana said " that is when the king was young".


One morning, Mrs. Udurawana caught her husband searching high and low all around his living room.
Mrs. Udurawana:"What are you searching for?"
Mr. Udurawana: "Hidden camaras!"
Mrs. Udurawana: "And what makes you think that there are hidden camaras here?"
Mr. Udurawana: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, "You are watching Rupavahini channel. How does he know that?"


Udurawana's wish - When I die, I wanna die like my grandpa, who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..
Twins were born to uduravana,.
he could not sleep for the whole night.
why????
he kept wondering who is the father of the second child
-Udurawana with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other ear?"
"That fellow called back."
-Those days in Sri Lanka everybody must have licence for their shot guns. Udurawana messed up everything and he forgot to get licence. On the last day he rushed to govt kachcheri, the place where licence are issued and talked to the counter clerk and said " I want to get licence for my gun, can I do that now?" But the counter was dull of hearing " licence for what???" Udurawana said "gun... gun... You dont know gun? G for Gesus (Jesus) U for urope (Europe) N for numonia (Pneumonia)?"

 

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Udurawana was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area.

The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.

"They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Udurawana."

It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

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Udurawana came to the news paper to place an advertisement announcing his father's death.

"The rate is Rs.360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him.

"Mama Kapothiye," exclaimed the Udurawana.

"My father was 182 cms tall."
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When Udurawana was studying in a London university, his mother has sent the following letter to him.

My dear Loku Putha,

I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address as the your uncle and aunt who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Lokurawana fell in an Arack vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

LoveMom.

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed

 

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Welcome 2 ELAKIRI mediya !!.. y dont u take few sec 2 introduce urscelf in introduce forum!!..welcome!!