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Will you hate yourself in the morning?
- Thread starter crazyfool
- Start date
A first-grade teacher
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal! : "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade. "
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?"
The principal and Boy, both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy:, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam:
"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it
u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!"
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal! : "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade. "
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?"
The principal and Boy, both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy:, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam:
"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it
u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!"
A first-grade teacher
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal! : "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade. "
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?"
The principal and Boy, both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy:, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam:
"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it
u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!"
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal! : "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade. "
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?"
The principal and Boy, both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy:, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam:
"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it
u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!"
Few very strange ,little known facts about your planet
Few very strange ,little known facts about your planet
In 1783 an Icelandic eruption threw up enough dust to temporarily block out the sun over Europe.
About 20 to 30 volcanoes erupt each year, mostly under the sea.
A huge underground river runs underneath the Nile, with six times more water than the river above.
Lake Bosumtwi in Ghana formed in a hollow made by a meteorite.
Beaver Lake, in Yellowstone Park , USA, was artificially created by beaver damming.
Off the coast of Florida there is an underwater hotel. Guests have to dive to the entrance.
Venice in Italy is built on 118 sea islets joined by 400 bridges. It is gradually sinking into the water.
The Ancient Egyptians worshipped a sky goddess called Nut.
The world's windiest place is Commonwealth Bay, Antartica.
In 1934, a gust of wind reached 371 km/h on Mount Washington in New Hampshire, USA.
American Roy Sullivan has been struck by lighting a record seven times.
The desert baobab tree can store up to 1000 litres of water in its trunk.
The oldest living tree is a California bristlecone pine name 'Methuselah' . It is about 4600 years old. The largest tree in the world is a giant sequoia growing in California. It is 84 meters tall and measures 29 meters round the trunk. The fastest growing tree is the eucalyptus. It can grow 10 meters a year.
The Antartic notothenia fish has a protein in its blood that acts like antifreeze and stops the fish freezing in icy sea.
The USA uses 29% of the world's petrol and 33% of the world's electricity.
The industrial complex of Cubatao in Brazil is known as the Valley of Death because its pollution has destroyed the trees and rivers nearby.
Tibet is the highest country in the world. Its average height above sea level is 4500 meters.
Some of the oldest mountains in the world are the Highlands in Scotland. They are estimated to be about 400 million years old.
Fresh water from the River Amazon can be found up to 180 km out to sea.
The White Sea, in Russia, has the lowest temperature, only -2 degrees centigrade. The Persian Gulf is the warmest sea. In the summer its temperature reaches 35.6 degrees centigrade.
There is no land at all at the North Pole, only ice on top of sea. The Arctic Ocean has about 12 million sq km of floating ice and has the coldest winter temperature of -34 degrees centigrade.
The Antarctic ice sheet is 3-4 km thick, covers 13 million sq km and has temperatures as low as -70 degrees centigrade.
Over 4 million cars in Brazil are now running on gasohol instead of petrol. Gasohol is a fuel made from sugar cane.
Few very strange ,little known facts about your planet
In 1783 an Icelandic eruption threw up enough dust to temporarily block out the sun over Europe.
About 20 to 30 volcanoes erupt each year, mostly under the sea.
A huge underground river runs underneath the Nile, with six times more water than the river above.
Lake Bosumtwi in Ghana formed in a hollow made by a meteorite.
Beaver Lake, in Yellowstone Park , USA, was artificially created by beaver damming.
Off the coast of Florida there is an underwater hotel. Guests have to dive to the entrance.
Venice in Italy is built on 118 sea islets joined by 400 bridges. It is gradually sinking into the water.
The Ancient Egyptians worshipped a sky goddess called Nut.
The world's windiest place is Commonwealth Bay, Antartica.
In 1934, a gust of wind reached 371 km/h on Mount Washington in New Hampshire, USA.
American Roy Sullivan has been struck by lighting a record seven times.
The desert baobab tree can store up to 1000 litres of water in its trunk.
The oldest living tree is a California bristlecone pine name 'Methuselah' . It is about 4600 years old. The largest tree in the world is a giant sequoia growing in California. It is 84 meters tall and measures 29 meters round the trunk. The fastest growing tree is the eucalyptus. It can grow 10 meters a year.
The Antartic notothenia fish has a protein in its blood that acts like antifreeze and stops the fish freezing in icy sea.
The USA uses 29% of the world's petrol and 33% of the world's electricity.
The industrial complex of Cubatao in Brazil is known as the Valley of Death because its pollution has destroyed the trees and rivers nearby.
Tibet is the highest country in the world. Its average height above sea level is 4500 meters.
Some of the oldest mountains in the world are the Highlands in Scotland. They are estimated to be about 400 million years old.
Fresh water from the River Amazon can be found up to 180 km out to sea.
The White Sea, in Russia, has the lowest temperature, only -2 degrees centigrade. The Persian Gulf is the warmest sea. In the summer its temperature reaches 35.6 degrees centigrade.
There is no land at all at the North Pole, only ice on top of sea. The Arctic Ocean has about 12 million sq km of floating ice and has the coldest winter temperature of -34 degrees centigrade.
The Antarctic ice sheet is 3-4 km thick, covers 13 million sq km and has temperatures as low as -70 degrees centigrade.
Over 4 million cars in Brazil are now running on gasohol instead of petrol. Gasohol is a fuel made from sugar cane.
tks
