Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry." = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
"We need to talk" = I need to complain.
"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"You're ... so manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights"= I have flabby thighs.
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
"Hang the picture there" = NO, I mean hang it there!
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
"How much do you love me?" =I did something today you're really not going to like.
"I'll be ready in a minute." = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.
"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead.]
"Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
"I'm not yelling!" = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
