TWO RED EARS
Uduravana with two red ears went to his doctor. The
doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but
instead of picking up the phone accidentally picked up
the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But .. What happened to your other ear?" "That idiot
called back after sometime"
THE BET
Once Uduravana's friend saw that Uduravana was very
depressed. "What happened?" asked his friend.
"Man, I lost Rs. 1000 in a bet yesterday. ""How come?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between Sri Lanka
and England was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500
that Sri Lanka would win, but I lost the bet."
"But that's only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?"
Then he replied "Man, I bet on the highlights too!"
AIDS
Once Uduravana and two of his friends were waiting for
a bus when a dangerous-looking guy approached them. He
suddenly pulled out a syringe with blood inside it and
said in a menacing tone - "Give me all your valuables
or I'll pierce you with this needle. This contains
AIDS infected blood!"
Our friends were naturally alarmed - all except
Uduravana. One of them immediately gave away all his
valuables. The other bargained with the stranger and
gave away half of his belongings. Uduravana, however,
was unfazed. He refused to part with his money. In
anger and frustration, the guy pricked Uduravana with
the needle and ran away. The alarmed two men asked
Uduravana - "How could you do this? Now you will get
AIDS surely!"
Uduravana coolly replied - "No! I won't! I am wearing
a condom".
CLOCK TOWER
Uduravana is in Anuradhapura. He is walking on a
street which has a Clock Tower (of course a Premadasa
one) when someone asks him if he wants to buy the
clock on the Tower. Uduravana says "Yes". "Give me a
thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having
waited for several hours Uduravana figured he was
taken it . On the next day the Uduravana is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks
him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and
I'll go get a ladder."
The Uduravana gives him the thousand and says "I am
not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a
ladder."
FOURTH CHILD
This happened when Udurawana's 4th child was born. He
fills data in the birth certificate.
Mother: Sri Lankan.
Father: Sri Lankan.
Kid: Chinese.
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are
Sri Lankan?"
says Udurawana "Ahhh... I read in the newspaper, that
the every 4th person born on Earth now is a Chinese."
Uduravana with two red ears went to his doctor. The
doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but
instead of picking up the phone accidentally picked up
the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But .. What happened to your other ear?" "That idiot
called back after sometime"
THE BET
Once Uduravana's friend saw that Uduravana was very
depressed. "What happened?" asked his friend.
"Man, I lost Rs. 1000 in a bet yesterday. ""How come?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between Sri Lanka
and England was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500
that Sri Lanka would win, but I lost the bet."
"But that's only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?"
Then he replied "Man, I bet on the highlights too!"
AIDS
Once Uduravana and two of his friends were waiting for
a bus when a dangerous-looking guy approached them. He
suddenly pulled out a syringe with blood inside it and
said in a menacing tone - "Give me all your valuables
or I'll pierce you with this needle. This contains
AIDS infected blood!"
Our friends were naturally alarmed - all except
Uduravana. One of them immediately gave away all his
valuables. The other bargained with the stranger and
gave away half of his belongings. Uduravana, however,
was unfazed. He refused to part with his money. In
anger and frustration, the guy pricked Uduravana with
the needle and ran away. The alarmed two men asked
Uduravana - "How could you do this? Now you will get
AIDS surely!"
Uduravana coolly replied - "No! I won't! I am wearing
a condom".
CLOCK TOWER
Uduravana is in Anuradhapura. He is walking on a
street which has a Clock Tower (of course a Premadasa
one) when someone asks him if he wants to buy the
clock on the Tower. Uduravana says "Yes". "Give me a
thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having
waited for several hours Uduravana figured he was
taken it . On the next day the Uduravana is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks
him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and
I'll go get a ladder."
The Uduravana gives him the thousand and says "I am
not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a
ladder."
FOURTH CHILD
This happened when Udurawana's 4th child was born. He
fills data in the birth certificate.
Mother: Sri Lankan.
Father: Sri Lankan.
Kid: Chinese.
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are
Sri Lankan?"
says Udurawana "Ahhh... I read in the newspaper, that
the every 4th person born on Earth now is a Chinese."
