Perhaps nothing is ever quite as painful as getting over your first love. It's not just any old break-up; this is the boy/girl who taught you what it means to fall in love. You thought you'd spend the rest of your lives together. You made plans for the future to live together or go to college together. You have loads of jokes and memories of the time you spent together. Now that it's over, you're scared that you'll never find anyone to ever replace them. Here are some tips to help you get over it.
Steps
1. Cut off all communication with your ex. Harsh, but it's the only thing that works. You probably feel like you're losing the best friend you ever had, the only person who truly understood you. It might hurt at first, but it will get better. You cannot be friends while you attempt to get over each other.
2. Do not hook up at all with your ex. You will start right back at square one, and all the work you did trying to get over them will be wasted.
3. Recall why you broke up, what you hated about him/her, and what you could never agree on. You may tend to remember only what you love about your ex, and your happiest memories together. If they cheated on you, stop justifying it, and realize you can find someone who loves you and would never be unfaithful.
4. Realize that just because this relationship is over, it doesn't mean that you'll never find love again. Ask your friends, your parents, or your great-aunt Susan how they got over their first loves. Many people will remember how hard it was to get over them but will also admit that they found greater loves in their lifetime.
You may find it hard to sleep, or get back to sleep when you wake in the middle of the night. When it is dark, and everyone else around you is sound asleep, this can be the most lonely time ever. During the day take lots of exercise, go for a long long walk, make sure you are exhausted when you go to bed, it will help you sleep better/get off to sleep. You'll also benefit physically from the extra activity, and exercise is great for depression.
4. Don't try to get through this alone. Your friends are very important. They will help you survive by listening to you and offering advice. If you forgot about them while you were with your boy/girlfriend, ask if you can be forgiven. If they really were true friends they will forgive you and want to help you get over it. Try to avoid friends who are very close with your ex, as they are bound to talk about him/her and bring you down inadvertently.
5.Talk to and see your friends and family more . It's good to listen to others and what they have to say, but if you can talk more, you'll find yourself truly getting your mind off of him/her for the time being. If you make your world bigger, then s/he will become less important.
6. Be open and honest about how you are feeling. Don't pretend, for yourself or others, that you are okay if you're not. Also realize that you are allowed to be okay. You do not have to feel sad all the time, or at all. Talk to people instead of just holding it in and being moody. Other people can support you if they actually know what is going on.
7. Remember there are other people that care. Even if it doesn't always feel that way, there are. There are people around you who understand, and will help.
8.Do not ask your friends if they have seen your ex . Do not ask how s/he is; you do not want to know.
9. Cry. It's okay to cry. Just let it all out. You will feel much better after you do.
10. Use your breakup as an opportunity to become the person you have always wanted to be. Take on a daunting goal such as learning a new language, instrument, or skill. There has never been a better time to set these goals in motion, and now you have a lot more time to do it!
11. Fill up your MP3 player with the saddest love songs you can think of. Sad songs work wonders because you realize there are actually people out there more miserable than you. Or you may also want to try happy songs instead. Try some songs that were written to remind you that you're not the only one not having any fun and that you need to work to be happy again. Music can help heal you; just give it time.
12. Do anything you can to make yourself feel desirable. Get a haircut or add highlights. Go to the gym. Buy a new outfit. Dress up and dance in front of your mirror to club music. Remember all the times s/he told you that you are the most beautiful person in the universe, convince yourself that it is indeed true, and that someone else will appreciate you the way s/he once did.
12. Endure the pain and loneliness bravely. With time, the pain will heal. Are you a strong person who can get through this or a weak one that will wither from one failed relationship? Don't succumb to weakness. Retain your pride and hold your head up. There's nothing better than that.
Always remember that you're better off without him/her because someone who you thought loved you that leaves isn't worth your tears or pain... "Never cry for someone that will never cry for you."
13. Poetry. Poetry can really help you, either writting or reading it. Try researching about authors who wrote love poems, so that they can work just like the songs in your MP3. Also it's good to put your feelings on a piece of paper. Don't bother if the poem's quality is bellow the authors you like. You're not doing it to publish. Paper can be a great listener, sometimes the best.
Steps
1. Cut off all communication with your ex. Harsh, but it's the only thing that works. You probably feel like you're losing the best friend you ever had, the only person who truly understood you. It might hurt at first, but it will get better. You cannot be friends while you attempt to get over each other.
2. Do not hook up at all with your ex. You will start right back at square one, and all the work you did trying to get over them will be wasted.
3. Recall why you broke up, what you hated about him/her, and what you could never agree on. You may tend to remember only what you love about your ex, and your happiest memories together. If they cheated on you, stop justifying it, and realize you can find someone who loves you and would never be unfaithful.
4. Realize that just because this relationship is over, it doesn't mean that you'll never find love again. Ask your friends, your parents, or your great-aunt Susan how they got over their first loves. Many people will remember how hard it was to get over them but will also admit that they found greater loves in their lifetime.
You may find it hard to sleep, or get back to sleep when you wake in the middle of the night. When it is dark, and everyone else around you is sound asleep, this can be the most lonely time ever. During the day take lots of exercise, go for a long long walk, make sure you are exhausted when you go to bed, it will help you sleep better/get off to sleep. You'll also benefit physically from the extra activity, and exercise is great for depression.
4. Don't try to get through this alone. Your friends are very important. They will help you survive by listening to you and offering advice. If you forgot about them while you were with your boy/girlfriend, ask if you can be forgiven. If they really were true friends they will forgive you and want to help you get over it. Try to avoid friends who are very close with your ex, as they are bound to talk about him/her and bring you down inadvertently.
5.Talk to and see your friends and family more . It's good to listen to others and what they have to say, but if you can talk more, you'll find yourself truly getting your mind off of him/her for the time being. If you make your world bigger, then s/he will become less important.
6. Be open and honest about how you are feeling. Don't pretend, for yourself or others, that you are okay if you're not. Also realize that you are allowed to be okay. You do not have to feel sad all the time, or at all. Talk to people instead of just holding it in and being moody. Other people can support you if they actually know what is going on.
7. Remember there are other people that care. Even if it doesn't always feel that way, there are. There are people around you who understand, and will help.
8.Do not ask your friends if they have seen your ex . Do not ask how s/he is; you do not want to know.
9. Cry. It's okay to cry. Just let it all out. You will feel much better after you do.
10. Use your breakup as an opportunity to become the person you have always wanted to be. Take on a daunting goal such as learning a new language, instrument, or skill. There has never been a better time to set these goals in motion, and now you have a lot more time to do it!
11. Fill up your MP3 player with the saddest love songs you can think of. Sad songs work wonders because you realize there are actually people out there more miserable than you. Or you may also want to try happy songs instead. Try some songs that were written to remind you that you're not the only one not having any fun and that you need to work to be happy again. Music can help heal you; just give it time.
12. Do anything you can to make yourself feel desirable. Get a haircut or add highlights. Go to the gym. Buy a new outfit. Dress up and dance in front of your mirror to club music. Remember all the times s/he told you that you are the most beautiful person in the universe, convince yourself that it is indeed true, and that someone else will appreciate you the way s/he once did.
12. Endure the pain and loneliness bravely. With time, the pain will heal. Are you a strong person who can get through this or a weak one that will wither from one failed relationship? Don't succumb to weakness. Retain your pride and hold your head up. There's nothing better than that.
Always remember that you're better off without him/her because someone who you thought loved you that leaves isn't worth your tears or pain... "Never cry for someone that will never cry for you."
13. Poetry. Poetry can really help you, either writting or reading it. Try researching about authors who wrote love poems, so that they can work just like the songs in your MP3. Also it's good to put your feelings on a piece of paper. Don't bother if the poem's quality is bellow the authors you like. You're not doing it to publish. Paper can be a great listener, sometimes the best.
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