A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.
The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."
She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
[1] IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE AGAINST HER WILL, IS IT CONSIDERED RAPE OR SHOPLIFTING?
[2] CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER?
[3] HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?
[4] WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN"... BUT IT'S...
A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!
The teenager tells her, "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she...
Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations :
1.) At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .....
Stupid Question :- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer :- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
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2.) In the bus:
A heavy...
A drunk gets on a bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop.
He reacts by stumbling to the front of...
WHY (can anyone give the answers)
1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion...
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat.
The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear.
She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large...
I never take risk while drinking
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is...
A blonde, socially ridiculed decided to hang herself from a tree in the park and commit suicide.
A little bit later, an old lady walked around noticed her hanging from the rope and swinging.
She asked her what she was doing and if she needed any help.
The blonde firmly replied, "I am...
People who do lots of work...
Make lots of mistakes
People who do less work...
Make less mistakes
People who do no work...
Make no mistakes
People who make no mistakes...
Gets promoted
That's why I spend most of my time
Sending e-mails & playing games at work , I need a promotion.
A Lady Rector of a Ladies hostel was fond of using English language though she was not good in English.
She was also fond of using very small sentenses to communicate. Always in hurry she used to creat lots if funny situations.
Once the electricity of her ladies hostel went off at midnight...
In line with our constitution and to eliminate discrimination in our society, the following titles will now be used for these jobs:
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Garden Boy - Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist
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House Maid - Family Environs Upkeep Manager
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Typist -...