- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me
- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
- I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
- I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
- I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- God must love stupid people, he made so many.
- It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
- This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
- Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
- I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Beer----- The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
- I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With A$$holes All Day
- I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed-----What More Do You Want?
- Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
- If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
- Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
- Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
- The proctologist called...they found your head.
