BREAKING NEWS: All eleven members of the Sri Lankan cricket team along with the twelfth man have been handed out penalties by the totally sensible Sri Lankan Cricket board after they had the audacity to hand India a comprehensive, no holds barred, pants down, six-of-the-best THRASHING in Dambulla (with bonus point to boot).
The impudent Sri Lankan cricketers were given this richly deserved punishment after they dared to give the superior Indian cricketers a resounding lesson on how to play the game properly. In fact, it was India’s worst defeat in terms of the number of overs left. The chief culprit was man of the match Thisara Perera. The young upstart has been fined 200% of his match fees and banned for the next three tournaments for daring to take 5 wickets against the most mighty, most righteous Indian cricket team.
Ranjith Fernando, manager of the Sri Lankan team said, “Thisara has always been looking at the region of a penalty with a great deal of hunger. One should not be surprised at this as one could see that he was indeed asking for it all along.”
Tillekeratne Dilshan has been fined 150% of his match fees and banned for the next two tournaments for being in too much of a flaming hurry and encouraging the game to be finished off in an embarrassingly short number of overs. The rest of the players have been fined 125.55% of their match fees and they have all been banned for the rest of this tournament. Kumar Sangakkara has also been given a Final Warning by the SLC to never let it happen again as it has deeply embarrassed the SLC as hosts of the Indian team. In happier news, the BCCI has rewarded Sangakkara’s tactical genius of not bowling the mischievous Suraj Randiv although he was in the playing XI, thereby demonstrating Sangakkara’s own absolute lack of balls. The fabulous reward is reportedly a shiny new Maruti.
Virender Sehwag complained on Twitter a short while ago about the buttock-rumbling spanking his team received, “I was expecting the Lankans to do something like this. This is not the first time they have done this to us. During the 2007 World Cup and even the recent T20 World Cup they thrashed us in a similar fashion. It was most fortunate that I and my colleagues have very good home and contents insurance back in India.”
The Sri Lankan Cricket Board has issued an unreserved apology to the BCCI and has launched a probe into this most unwarranted carnage. This whole issue has totally not been blown out of proportion at all and fans can expect further heads to roll. The SLC issued the following press release a short while ago.
The ICC welcomed the SLC’s swift and decisive action and appreciated them for upholding the spirit of the game as expected by their Indian paymasters. “The spirit of obsequiousness is a fundamental part of our great sport and it is pleasing to see our members upholding it in such a decisive manner,” ICC Chief Executive Haroon Lorgat said. “This is a clear sign that the notion of ass-kissery is still very important to those who love the game of cricket and we commend the SLC on its commitment to that. As far as the ICC is concerned it was an unfortunate incident and the matter is now closed,” he said.
Source : .tamilnet.tv
The impudent Sri Lankan cricketers were given this richly deserved punishment after they dared to give the superior Indian cricketers a resounding lesson on how to play the game properly. In fact, it was India’s worst defeat in terms of the number of overs left. The chief culprit was man of the match Thisara Perera. The young upstart has been fined 200% of his match fees and banned for the next three tournaments for daring to take 5 wickets against the most mighty, most righteous Indian cricket team.
Ranjith Fernando, manager of the Sri Lankan team said, “Thisara has always been looking at the region of a penalty with a great deal of hunger. One should not be surprised at this as one could see that he was indeed asking for it all along.”
Tillekeratne Dilshan has been fined 150% of his match fees and banned for the next two tournaments for being in too much of a flaming hurry and encouraging the game to be finished off in an embarrassingly short number of overs. The rest of the players have been fined 125.55% of their match fees and they have all been banned for the rest of this tournament. Kumar Sangakkara has also been given a Final Warning by the SLC to never let it happen again as it has deeply embarrassed the SLC as hosts of the Indian team. In happier news, the BCCI has rewarded Sangakkara’s tactical genius of not bowling the mischievous Suraj Randiv although he was in the playing XI, thereby demonstrating Sangakkara’s own absolute lack of balls. The fabulous reward is reportedly a shiny new Maruti.
Virender Sehwag complained on Twitter a short while ago about the buttock-rumbling spanking his team received, “I was expecting the Lankans to do something like this. This is not the first time they have done this to us. During the 2007 World Cup and even the recent T20 World Cup they thrashed us in a similar fashion. It was most fortunate that I and my colleagues have very good home and contents insurance back in India.”
The Sri Lankan Cricket Board has issued an unreserved apology to the BCCI and has launched a probe into this most unwarranted carnage. This whole issue has totally not been blown out of proportion at all and fans can expect further heads to roll. The SLC issued the following press release a short while ago.
“Sri Lanka Cricket is extremely proud of its team and their achievements over the years.It is of paramount importance to maintain the discipline of the Gentlemen’s game™, especially with Sri Lanka Cricket being absolutely bankrupt owing to decades of corruption and therefore having to depend on the BCCI to save our ass financially. We take this act of CRICKET GENOCIDE™ very seriously and we will ensure that the culprits are all made to understand the gravity of their crimes.”
Source : .tamilnet.tv
