Season 5, Episode 1: Stewie Loves Lois
Original Air Date—10 September 2006
After Lois saves Stewie's bear, Rupert, he begins to appreciate her more than ever. But Lois soon grows tired of this attention. At the same time, Peter goes to court suing Dr. Heartman of sexual harassment.
Season 5, Episode 2: Mother Tucker
Original Air Date—17 September 2006
Peter's mom starts dating TV anchor Tom Tucker, causing Peter to turn to him as the father figure he always wanted. And Brian and Stewie begin hosting their own raunchy radio program.
Season 5, Episode 3: Hell Comes to Quahog
Original Air Date—24 September 2006
Meg takes a job at the local "superstore," but the store causes Peter to lose his job and his electricity. So he becomes the store's most vocal critic--until it offers him a job.
Season 5, Episode 4: Saving Private Brian
Original Air Date—5 November 2006
Stewie and Brian join the army, go through basic training, and are sent to Iraq. Meanwhile, Chris becomes the lead singer of a rock band until Peter and Lois get Marilyn Manson to talk him out of it.
Season 5, Episode 5: Whistle While Your Wife Works
Original Air Date—12 November 2006
Lois does Peter's work at the brewery while he recovers from getting his fingers surgically reattached, and Brian doesn't want the family to know that he's dating an idiot.
Season 5, Episode 6: Prick Up Your Ears
Original Air Date—19 November 2006
Lois becomes the high school sex ed teacher, but is fired for having "radical" views. So she is replaced by a Christian group that uses fear, misinformation and lies to promote abstinence.
Season 5, Episode 7: Chick Cancer
Original Air Date—26 November 2006
Stewie tries to win over a retired child actress, and Peter becomes a fan of "chick movies" and makes his own.
Season 5, Episode 8: Barely Legal
Original Air Date—17 December 2006
Meg can't find a date to her junior prom and Brian ends up going with Meg.
Season 5, Episode 9: Road to Rupert
Original Air Date—28 January 2007
Stewie and Brian travel to Aspen to find the man that Brian sold Rupert to on accident at a garage sale, and Meg becomes Peter's personal driver after Peter temporarily loses his driving privileges.
Season 5, Episode 10: Peter's Two Dads
Original Air Date—11 February 2007
After Peter's dad passes away, he learns that he's not his biological father. So he and Brian travel to Ireland to find his real father.
Season 5, Episode 11: The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Original Air Date—18 February 2007
Peter becomes the neighborhood bully after trying to take care of Chris's bully, and Stewie has a cancer scare after staying in the tanning bed too long.
Season 5, Episode 12: Airport '07
Original Air Date—4 March 2007
Peter becomes a redneck and gets Quagmire fired. So the gang sets out to get Quagmire his job back.
Season 5, Episode 13: Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey
Original Air Date—11 March 2007
Peter's attempts to become physically fit lead to a friendship with Bill Clinton, which inadvertently nearly destroys Peter & Lois' marriage.
Season 5, Episode 14: No Meals on Wheels
Original Air Date—25 March 2007
After Peter finds a valuable coin and sells it for $50,000, he and Lois open their own restaurant. Peter is dismayed, however, when Joe and all of his handicapped friends begin using the restaurant as their hangout, and bans them all. This leads to a huge showdown and an ironic fate for Peter.
Season 5, Episode 15: Boys Do Cry
Original Air Date—29 April 2007
Lois gets a job as the church organist, so the family decides to begin going back to church. When Stewie gets sick after receiving communion, the congregation becomes convinced that he has been possessed by the devil. While on the run, the family ends up in Texas, where Peter begins to fit right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant, and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.
Season 5, Episode 16: No Chris Left Behind
Original Air Date—6 May 2007
After being expelled by his school for dragging down their average standardized test scores, Chris is accepted into a snobby private school, which forces his family to struggle to pay the tuition.
Season 5, Episode 17: It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One
Original Air Date—13 May 2007
Lois runs for mayor of Quahog, though she doesn't become the front-runner until she dumbs down her political views. Once in office, she becomes corrupted with the power that she now holds, and begins accepting bribes so that she can buy herself expensive things. Meanwhile, Peter comes to enjoy being the "first lady" of Quahog, and all of the perks that go along with it.
Season 5, Episode 18: Meet the Quagmires
Original Air Date—20 May 2007
Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He end up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire.
