FUNNY JOKES!!!!!!!
Hope you Like them..... Enjoy.....
01) What kind of tracks are these?
What Kind of Tracks Are They? Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
02) Bring It Back
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
03) Easy Chicken Recipe
Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe I thought it was perfect for people like me who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.
4 - 5 lb. Chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing 1 cup uncooked popcorn Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing mixed with popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's Ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room and lands on the table, it's done and ready to eat.
And you thought I couldn't cook
04) You're Next.
I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next.". They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.
05) When Money Died and Went to Heaven
A 10 dollar bill, a 5 dollar bill, and a 100 dollar bill all die and go to heaven. God sees the 1 dollar bill and says he's been good, so he let him in. He also let the 5 dollar bill in for being good. When the 100 dollar bill went up to him, God said "Hmm, well I never see YOU in church."
06) The Blonde Kidnapper
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, a blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
I hope you had a good laugh
Thanks....
Hope you Like them..... Enjoy.....
01) What kind of tracks are these?
What Kind of Tracks Are They? Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
02) Bring It Back
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
03) Easy Chicken Recipe
Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe I thought it was perfect for people like me who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.
4 - 5 lb. Chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing 1 cup uncooked popcorn Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing mixed with popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's Ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room and lands on the table, it's done and ready to eat.
And you thought I couldn't cook
04) You're Next.
I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next.". They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.
05) When Money Died and Went to Heaven
A 10 dollar bill, a 5 dollar bill, and a 100 dollar bill all die and go to heaven. God sees the 1 dollar bill and says he's been good, so he let him in. He also let the 5 dollar bill in for being good. When the 100 dollar bill went up to him, God said "Hmm, well I never see YOU in church."
06) The Blonde Kidnapper
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, a blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
I hope you had a good laugh
Thanks....
