1. Why does a man have a clear conscience? Because it's never used.
2. Why are men so happy? Because ignorance is bliss.
3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
4. How are men like commercials? You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last about 60 seconds.
5. How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a bikini. 7. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
6. What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
7. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business.
8. How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable."
9. A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
10. Men are like Parking Spots...
All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
11. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
His body.
12. . How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
13. Why do bachelors like smart women? Opposites attract.
14. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
15.Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.
2. Why are men so happy? Because ignorance is bliss.
3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
4. How are men like commercials? You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last about 60 seconds.
5. How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a bikini. 7. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
6. What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
7. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business.
8. How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable."
9. A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
10. Men are like Parking Spots...
All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
11. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
His body.
12. . How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
13. Why do bachelors like smart women? Opposites attract.
14. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
15.Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.
