10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE...
o---> Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
o---> Commandment 2:
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
o---> Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand. ( OR MORE!! )
o---> Commandment 4:
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
o---> Commandment 5:
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
o---> Commandment 6:
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
o---> Commandment 7:
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
o---> Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
o---> Commandment 9:
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.
o---> Commandment 10:
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished
CHARLES AND POPE
YEAR: 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope died.
YEAR: 2005
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope died.
** In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, please warn the Pope!!**
1. A student's leave letter:
"As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the
class...."
---------------------------------------------
2. A candidate's application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist And an
accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past Several
years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post."
---------------------------------------------
3. I.T.I., Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife.
Please sanction me one-week leave.
---------------------------------------------
4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not
return, please grant me half day casual leave"
---------------------------------------------
5. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I! am suffering from headache. I
request you to leave me today"
---------------------------------------------
6. An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
---------------------------------------------
7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
---------------------------------------------
8. A covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
---------------------------------------------
9. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please
grant me 10 days leave.
---------------------------------------------
10. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At
home I may be granted leave".
---------------------------------------------
11. Letter writing:
"I am in well here and hope you are a! lso in the same well."
---------------------------------------------
12. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was
Performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's
leave..."
The Best way to Escape from a Problem is to Solve it"
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
