Teacher:There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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A woman was sick of her husband's drinking, so she decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the sofa and screamed.
"You don't scare me," the man said, looking her over calmly., "I married your sister."
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Our Friend was chatting with a female - Online chat. Background both are s/w > engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's
Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero: wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero: OK
Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager: Hey, I need some help from you
Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero: Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work
Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!
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The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager
kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week."
she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.
By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was sick of her husband's drinking, so she decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the sofa and screamed.
"You don't scare me," the man said, looking her over calmly., "I married your sister."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our Friend was chatting with a female - Online chat. Background both are s/w > engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's
Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero: wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero: OK
Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager: Hey, I need some help from you
Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero: Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work
Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!
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The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager
kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week."
she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.
By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."