Just a small challenge...

[Nash_Node]

Yes.. it's just a small challenge for the almighty of all you poets and poetesses.

I jot down something the other day.. and I just can't seem to finish it .

Finish it in the sense of putting some right worlds and giving the whole thing a better face lift with rhyming words and an overall "feeling" for it.

So, use this. .. put some of your own words, make it beautiful.. give it a feeling, cause I "feel" that it's such a nice set of words aligned together to express a beautiful feeling.

My Soul longing for you,
You are my unseated desire,
My heart is restless, Bleeding into my life,
Walk with me, in this lonely world...

I am walking through the dark nights with fragile dreams afraid I'll crash
The flame of hope burns bright, but I fear a storm,
A storm which can ravage my dreams,
All I seek is a "yes"....

There is the moon and the skies,
I am afraid of the moon disappearing behind clouds,
loneliness bites, as my pulse quickens,
without a moment of respite,
it's a strange tale,
with nothing but restlessness....

All I seek is a

"YES"

Let's see something beautiful

 

[sri_lion]

Horizon dressed in rainbows amid mighty rains
Like sunshine hold the fate of a night's tide in vein
End my craving, douse the flaming
All I seek is a YES..

 

[Nash_Node]

Horizon dressed in rainbows amid mighty rains
Like sunshine hold the fate of a night's tide in vein
End my craving, douse the flaming
All I seek is a YES..

whoaa

Nice man !

any others ?

 

[DJ ASHAN]

ha ha

 

[jayanthah]

Whisper could break serene
Would drift clouds to cover the moon
Make my world dark again
Save me…………..
Don’t say “YES”
Just think it aloud
Save my day, my night & my insanity
I don’t want to be sane………………again

I'm not a poet (My work proves that), but these are the words that came to my mind after reading your poem!!! That's a beautiful pieace, and "Sri Lion" addition to that was simply great, Sri Lion, mate you are in the wrong trade, you should be writing poems, with a bottle of wine & a beautiful lass!!!

N_N, can you guess the drift in my addition to your poem??? It's something to do with my perception of who you are...........................

PS: MEKA DANNA MAMA WINDAPU DUKAK ADA UDEY INDAN................REDDA!!!

 

[Nash_Node]

one more.. which was PM'ed to me... HimaliL

I tried to post small verse to your thread but having technical difficulties , I guess.
I'll post it when this site allows me to do it. meanwhile enjoy!



It’s the story I hear and to live in forever
Be the prince and princess or sweet angels
But I don’t want anyone come ruin my land
I know I can protect you
All I seek is a ……………“YES”

 

[Nash_Node]

Whisper could break serene
Would drift clouds to cover the moon
Make my world dark again
Save me…………..
Don’t say “YES”
Just think it aloud
Save my day, my night & my insanity
I don’t want to be sane………………again

I'm not a poet (My work proves that), but these are the words that came to my mind after reading your poem!!! That's a beautiful pieace, and "Sri Lion" addition to that was simply great, Sri Lion, mate you are in the wrong trade, you should be writing poems, with a bottle of wine & a beautiful lass!!!

N_N, can you guess the drift in my addition to your poem??? It's something to do with my perception of who you are...........................

PS: MEKA DANNA MAMA WINDAPU DUKAK ADA UDEY INDAN................REDDA!!!

.. nice mate.. and your perception ain't wrong for the most part of it.

Anyother contributors?

 

[ireshasy]

when I seek for "YES"
rainbow comes and vanishes
dark mist runs in the fairy land
all mellodies become silent
freeze thoughts and dreams

waiting till realize n say "YES"
till a tear brings a dearest warmth
till strings make enchanting music
till a moon shine over the clouds
till a wetted heart shiver in magical portion...

 

[HimaliL]

It’s the story I hear and to live in forever
Be the prince and princess or sweet angels
But I don’t want anyone come ruin my land
I know I can protect you
All I seek is a ……………“YES”


I tried.....hope u like it

 

[Nash_Node]

check the blog.

http://abnormalminds.blogspot.com/


thanks all