The FAXXXX
An American, A Japanese, and an African were sitting naked in the sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The American presses his forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.
" A few minutes later a phone rings. The Japanese lifts his palm to his ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The African, feeling decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone,
Decided he had to do something just as impressive.
He steps Out of the sauna and goes to the toilet.
He returns with a piece of Toilet paper hanging from his ass.
The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?"
"I'm getting a Fax," he explains.
Sri Lankan HELLL
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell
for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks what do they do here?
“He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and whips you
for the rest of the day. “The man does not like the sound of that at all,
So he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the srilankan hell and finds that there is a very long
line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?" He is
told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay
you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the srilankan devil comes in and
whips you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so
many people waiting to get in?"
Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not
work, someone stole all the nails, and the devil used to be a public servant,
So he comes in, punches his time-card and then goes back home..."
TALEBAN
In a New York park, a young boy was attacked by a savage dog. A passer by
happened to see that and came to the rescue.
Having tackled the vicious dog, he strangled it to death.
A reporter for the local New York paper was watching all this and took snap
shots for a front page picture in the next day's paper.
Approaching our hero he says: "Your heroic feat shall be published in
tomorrow's paper under the headline "Brave New Yorker rescues boy".
"I'm not from New York," replied our brave hero. "Oh in that case we'll
change the headline - Brave American rescues boy from savage dog".
"I'm not American either," replied our brave hero.
On being asked about who he really is our hero replied: "I'm a Pakistani".
Well the next day the headline on the front page of New York paper said:
"Muslim Fundamentalist strangles dog to death in New York Park.
FBI investigating possible link to Al-Qaeda."
Life is too short ... take each bit with a SMILE!!!
THE TRAFFIC POLICE
A man alone in his car was driving home in DAR at about 12.30am and got to a
police checkpoint. A Traffic policeman stopped him and asked for every
document (car registration particulars, insurance, driving license etc.)
and all of these the man presented to him.
He then asked for more documents (birth certificate, passport, school diploma,)!!!!!!.
The man had everything ready. He then told the policeman
"Any document you want, I've got it right here".
To this, the policeman snapped back, "sharraapp! Who say you don't have the
papers?". He obviously had nothing else to ask for. In frustration, he even
kicked the car's tyres to check if they were inflated, had adequate treads, etc.
Everything checked out well. When at last there was nothing else to charge
the driver with, the officer said, "I charge you for driving alone at this
time of the day, so if you can have an accident now who will tell your people?"
The man replied, "I'm not alone, Jesus Christ is with me here, Angel
Gabriel, Angel Michael and five other Angels also are here with me".
The policeman said. "All these people inside this small car?" "Yes" the man
replied. The policeman then said, "In that case,
I charge you with overloading the car "!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
An American, A Japanese, and an African were sitting naked in the sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The American presses his forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.
" A few minutes later a phone rings. The Japanese lifts his palm to his ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The African, feeling decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone,
Decided he had to do something just as impressive.
He steps Out of the sauna and goes to the toilet.
He returns with a piece of Toilet paper hanging from his ass.
The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?"
"I'm getting a Fax," he explains.
Sri Lankan HELLL
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell
for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks what do they do here?
“He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and whips you
for the rest of the day. “The man does not like the sound of that at all,
So he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the srilankan hell and finds that there is a very long
line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?" He is
told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay
you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the srilankan devil comes in and
whips you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so
many people waiting to get in?"
Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not
work, someone stole all the nails, and the devil used to be a public servant,
So he comes in, punches his time-card and then goes back home..."
TALEBAN
In a New York park, a young boy was attacked by a savage dog. A passer by
happened to see that and came to the rescue.
Having tackled the vicious dog, he strangled it to death.
A reporter for the local New York paper was watching all this and took snap
shots for a front page picture in the next day's paper.
Approaching our hero he says: "Your heroic feat shall be published in
tomorrow's paper under the headline "Brave New Yorker rescues boy".
"I'm not from New York," replied our brave hero. "Oh in that case we'll
change the headline - Brave American rescues boy from savage dog".
"I'm not American either," replied our brave hero.
On being asked about who he really is our hero replied: "I'm a Pakistani".
Well the next day the headline on the front page of New York paper said:
"Muslim Fundamentalist strangles dog to death in New York Park.
FBI investigating possible link to Al-Qaeda."
Life is too short ... take each bit with a SMILE!!!
THE TRAFFIC POLICE
A man alone in his car was driving home in DAR at about 12.30am and got to a
police checkpoint. A Traffic policeman stopped him and asked for every
document (car registration particulars, insurance, driving license etc.)
and all of these the man presented to him.
He then asked for more documents (birth certificate, passport, school diploma,)!!!!!!.
The man had everything ready. He then told the policeman
"Any document you want, I've got it right here".
To this, the policeman snapped back, "sharraapp! Who say you don't have the
papers?". He obviously had nothing else to ask for. In frustration, he even
kicked the car's tyres to check if they were inflated, had adequate treads, etc.
Everything checked out well. When at last there was nothing else to charge
the driver with, the officer said, "I charge you for driving alone at this
time of the day, so if you can have an accident now who will tell your people?"
The man replied, "I'm not alone, Jesus Christ is with me here, Angel
Gabriel, Angel Michael and five other Angels also are here with me".
The policeman said. "All these people inside this small car?" "Yes" the man
replied. The policeman then said, "In that case,
I charge you with overloading the car "!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
