Lesbian :
At a party a Mervin Silva sees a beautiful girl and invites
Her to dance
With him...
Mervin Silva : Can I dance with you?
The Girl : I'm sorry I'm a lesbian..
Mervin Silva : It's ok. It's ok.. I'm a THOMIAN
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
Marriage :
Mervin Silva's Girl Friend: I'm one year older than
You....will it bad for
Our marriage?
Mervin Silva : No, not at all.....We'll marry in next
Year.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Hidden Camera's :
Mrs.Mervin Silva caught Mervin Silva searching high and low
All around his
Living room.
Mrs. Mervin Silva: 'What are you searching for?'
Mr. Mervin Silva: 'Hidden cameras!'
Mrs. Mervin Silva: 'And what makes you think that there
Are hidden
Cameras here?'
Mr. Mervin Silva: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I
Am doing. Every
Few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are
Watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know
That?'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * *
Relaxing :
Mervin Silva was enjoying the sun at the beach in America .
A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing?'
Mervin Silva answered, 'No, I am Mervin Silva'
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Mervin Silva answered, 'No! No! Me Mervin Silva!'
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Mervin Silva was totally annoyed and decided to shift his
Place.
While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?'
The other man was a lot more educated and answered,
'Yes, I am relaxing.'
Mervin Silva slapped him on his face and said,'Stupid,
Idiot. Everyone is
Looking for you and you are sitting over here!'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Heaven :
Mervin Silva died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that
New rules are
In effect due to the advances in education on
Earth. In order to
Gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with
'T'.
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Mervin Silva thought for a few minutes and answered.
1. The two days of the week that begin with
'T' are Today and
Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, 'OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow answer, even though
it's not the answer I expected. But how
Did you get 12 seconds in a year?'
Mervin Silva replied, 'Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd, etc...'
Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
The Wash Basin :
Mervin Silva goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing
The basin
Instead...
The manager comes running and asks him,'Sir, what are
You doing?'
Mervin Silva replies, 'Read this board here, it says
`Wash Basin'.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
English Exam :
Mervin Silva finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied,
'Exam was okay, but
For the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought,
And thought, at
Last I wrote THUNK!!!'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
Answer the following questions in brief :
Mervin Silva is appearing for his University final
examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper
for five minutes and then in a fit of inspiration
takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He
then removes his
shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his
pants, socks and
watch.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is
going on.
'I am only following the instructions here,' he
says, 'it says here, `Answer
the following questions in brief'.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Essay :
The English teacher told all the students in the class to
write an essay
on a cricket match. All were busy writing except
Mervin Silva.
He had written. 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH !!! '
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
The Postman :
The Postman: 'I have to come 5 miles to deliver you
this parcel.'
Mervin Silva: 'Why did you come so far? Instead you
could have posted it.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Coffee Shop :
Mervin Silva and his wife went to a coffee shop
Mervin Silva said, 'Hurry Up Drink
quickly.....!!!'.
His wife asked, ' why...???'
Mervin Silva said, 'Hot Coffee Rs.5 and Cold Coffee Rs.
10'.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Letter to his Son :
Mervin Silva was writing something very slowly.
A friend came and askes, 'Why are you writing so
slowly?'
Mervin Silva replies, 'I'm writing to my 6 year old
son,... he can't read
very fast.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
How I Look When Im Sleeping :
Mervin Silva was standing in front of the mirror with his
eyes closed.
His wife sees this and asks: What you are doing.....????
Mervin Silva replies, I'm seeing how I look while
I'm sleeping....!!!
At a party a Mervin Silva sees a beautiful girl and invites
Her to dance
With him...
Mervin Silva : Can I dance with you?
The Girl : I'm sorry I'm a lesbian..
Mervin Silva : It's ok. It's ok.. I'm a THOMIAN
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
Marriage :
Mervin Silva's Girl Friend: I'm one year older than
You....will it bad for
Our marriage?
Mervin Silva : No, not at all.....We'll marry in next
Year.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Hidden Camera's :
Mrs.Mervin Silva caught Mervin Silva searching high and low
All around his
Living room.
Mrs. Mervin Silva: 'What are you searching for?'
Mr. Mervin Silva: 'Hidden cameras!'
Mrs. Mervin Silva: 'And what makes you think that there
Are hidden
Cameras here?'
Mr. Mervin Silva: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I
Am doing. Every
Few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are
Watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know
That?'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * *
Relaxing :
Mervin Silva was enjoying the sun at the beach in America .
A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing?'
Mervin Silva answered, 'No, I am Mervin Silva'
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Mervin Silva answered, 'No! No! Me Mervin Silva!'
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Mervin Silva was totally annoyed and decided to shift his
Place.
While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?'
The other man was a lot more educated and answered,
'Yes, I am relaxing.'
Mervin Silva slapped him on his face and said,'Stupid,
Idiot. Everyone is
Looking for you and you are sitting over here!'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Heaven :
Mervin Silva died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that
New rules are
In effect due to the advances in education on
Earth. In order to
Gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with
'T'.
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Mervin Silva thought for a few minutes and answered.
1. The two days of the week that begin with
'T' are Today and
Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, 'OK, I'll buy the Today and
Tomorrow answer, even though
it's not the answer I expected. But how
Did you get 12 seconds in a year?'
Mervin Silva replied, 'Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd, etc...'
Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
The Wash Basin :
Mervin Silva goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing
The basin
Instead...
The manager comes running and asks him,'Sir, what are
You doing?'
Mervin Silva replies, 'Read this board here, it says
`Wash Basin'.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
English Exam :
Mervin Silva finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied,
'Exam was okay, but
For the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought,
And thought, at
Last I wrote THUNK!!!'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
Answer the following questions in brief :
Mervin Silva is appearing for his University final
examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper
for five minutes and then in a fit of inspiration
takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He
then removes his
shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his
pants, socks and
watch.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is
going on.
'I am only following the instructions here,' he
says, 'it says here, `Answer
the following questions in brief'.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Essay :
The English teacher told all the students in the class to
write an essay
on a cricket match. All were busy writing except
Mervin Silva.
He had written. 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH !!! '
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* *
The Postman :
The Postman: 'I have to come 5 miles to deliver you
this parcel.'
Mervin Silva: 'Why did you come so far? Instead you
could have posted it.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Coffee Shop :
Mervin Silva and his wife went to a coffee shop
Mervin Silva said, 'Hurry Up Drink
quickly.....!!!'.
His wife asked, ' why...???'
Mervin Silva said, 'Hot Coffee Rs.5 and Cold Coffee Rs.
10'.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
Letter to his Son :
Mervin Silva was writing something very slowly.
A friend came and askes, 'Why are you writing so
slowly?'
Mervin Silva replies, 'I'm writing to my 6 year old
son,... he can't read
very fast.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * *
How I Look When Im Sleeping :
Mervin Silva was standing in front of the mirror with his
eyes closed.
His wife sees this and asks: What you are doing.....????
Mervin Silva replies, I'm seeing how I look while
I'm sleeping....!!!
