Metal genres !!!!!!!!!!

[earthling]

Got this from rock.lk... HILARIOUS

Metal Genres: Simply Explained

POWER METAL:
the protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escape from the dragon, saves the princess and make love in an enchanted forest

TRASH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, fight the dragon, saves the princess and fuck her

HEAVY METAL:
the protagonist arrives in a harley davidson bike, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and fuck the princess

FOLK METAL:
the protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordeons, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon fell asleep (by all the dancing)....then he leaves....without the princess

VIKING METAL:
the protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe, cook and eat it, rape the princess to death, steal the castle and burn all the place before leave

DEATH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kill her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:
the protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impale it in the front of the castle.....then sodomize the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impale the unvirgen princess

GORE METAL:
the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spread his guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kill her....then he fucks the dead body, slash her belly and eat her guts.....then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burn the corpse and fuck it for the last time

DOOM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, see the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, then he gets depressed and commit suicide....the dragon eat his body and the princess as well...the end of the sad story

PROGRESIVE METAL:
the protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes....the dragon kills himself out of boredom.....the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the technics and tunes learned in the last year of the conservatory...the princess escape looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, the dragon laugh of the guy's appearance and let him enter.....he then steal the princess make-up and try to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color

GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 mintues and then leaves...

 

[ereshthush]

macho repot needa >

 

[earthling]

Repost. ????? where

 

[unknown]

Viking Metal is Metal Music based on Pagan Religions & the way of life led by Vikings before the introduction of Christianity in countries like Sweden, Denmark, Finland & Norway. If U've read the Davinchi Code u may know what characteristics these pagan religions had... u know like..more in harmony with nature & stuff..The catholic church completely destroyed these religions and burned anyone who believed in them when they were trying to establish Christianity (Ex- burning Witches, calling the pentagon (Star) symbol which is a paganism symbol, the sign of the devil, ect...)..this is also why the Scandinavian countries r producing the real deal when it comes to unti-church/Christian metal I think...

Remember the lovely music u heard in Robin hood ? (The TV series way back.)..well imagine the same soothing music incorporated with Metal...& songs talking about days gone past & pagan beliefs, ect. ...combine all this elements & u get Pagan/Viking Metal

These 2 are my fav bands of this genre -

Ensiferum

Enslaved

more in to progressive metal nw though..

Thnx For the info machan

 

[randula01]

Thanx.....................