Punny/mildly annoying/inappropriate Jokes Mega

[Yahapala_Naya]

There once was a woman who had 100 children
She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving.
One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health.
They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out.In fact they never told anyone.
To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation.
One day This ran away. They never saw This again.
No one else knew about This.
No one even knew a dog named This existed.

Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

Why did the Americans legalize consumption of Marijuana and Gay Marriage at the same time?
Because Americans believe The Bible and it says
"A man who lies with another man shall be stoned"

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

What do you call a Muslim optometrist who has no regards for his patients?
Asif Eyecare

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

A man started a business selling landmines that look like prayer mats.
When asked about how the business is doing, he replied:
"Pretty good. Prophets are going through the roof"

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
A klondike.

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

What you would call
1)a gay dinosaur: A Megasaurus.
2)a lesbian dinosaur: A Lickalotopus
3)a transsexual dinosaur: A Trannysaurus Rex

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

What's the first rule of tautology club?
the first rule of tautology club.

(discrete math reference)

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

The length of my penis was in the Guinness Book Of World Records
Until the librarian told me to take it out.

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

A man bought a lie detecting robot because he wanted to make sure that he was always getting the truth from his family. Anytime the robot detected a fallacy, it would slap the liar. The man decided he would try out his new toy at the dinner table.
"So son" said the father "have you finished your homework tonight?"
"Of course" he replied. SMACK
"Well, what were you doing?" Asked the father, adamently.
"Ok, ok." He replied "I was watching a movie at a friends house."
"What were you watching?"
"Toy Story"
SMACK
"What were you really watching?" Said the father.
In a quiet voice the boy spoke "I was watching porn"
"WHAT?!" Exclaimed the father "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I NEVER LOOKED AT PORNOGRAPHY!"
SMACK
The wife, who had been watching this whole event unfold chuckled and said "Well, he is your son."
SMACK

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

A young student is struggling during his histology exam and the professor wants to give him one last chance: "You've clearly studied the subject, but you need to be more confident. Answer me this last question and you're good to go. Is the vaginal epithelium ciliated?". The student is tired, wants leave quickly so, without thinking, abruptly replies: "Uhm...well...yes...Yes! It is ciliated". The professor then says: "Young man, remember my words: the grass doesn't grow where the train passes through..."

 

[Yahapala_Naya]

anathaya!
WOW, some people(CUNTS) really can't take a joke. AS THE TITLE SUGGESTS, THIS THREAD CONTAINS MILDLY ANNOYING JOKES. NO NEED LASH OUT IN BUTTHURT YE THICK CUNTS!!

 

[MNV]

digatama dapan machan.