Santa Banta Jokes

[kpg]

Childbirth !

Santa`s son was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, Jeeto, "How was I born?"
"Well dear..." said the embarrassed Jeeto, "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us too," said Jeeto.
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the frustrated Jeeto.
A few days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:
"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn`t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."


Stork is a large mostly white bird with very long legs which walks around in water to find its food

 

[kpg]

Remarriage !!!

Middle aged Santa and Jeeto were discussing life, and preparing wills. The conversation turned to remarriage...
Jeeto: If I should die first, will you remarry?
Santa: Probably, I wouldn`t like to spend the rest of my life alone.
Jeeto: Would you bring your new wife into our home that we have shared?
Santa: I don`t see why not. It would be empty, you wouldn`t be there.
Jeeto: Would you share the same bed we`ve shared?
Santa: Well, it`s a comfortable bed...
Jeeto: Would you let here wear my clothes?
Santa: Sure, if they fit. They are quite nice.
Jeeto: Would you let her use my golf clubs?
Santa: No way, Preeto is left handed.

 

[kpg]

Confusion of ownership !

Santa and Banta bought two horses.

Now the problem was that they could not differentiate between the two horses.
So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.When he does so,an enemy of Santa sees him doing so.
This enemy cuts the left ear of Banta s horse. Santa and banta are confused.
So, next thing Santa cuts some body part of his horse and his enemy repeats the same on Bantas horse.
At last Santa s horse had no legs left and Banta s horse was with one leg only.
The enemy also went and cut Banta s horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to differentiate between their horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to their mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and I shall keep the white .

 

[kpg]

Presence of mind!!

Santa and Banta were in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including Santa ands Banta, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on Santa jams something in Banta`s hand.
Without looking down, Banta whispers, "What is this?"
To which Santa replies, "It`s that Rs 500 I owe you."

 

[kpg]

Stunt plane

Santa and and his wife, Jeeto, went to a fair. Santa had never been on an airplane, was fascinated by a stunt plane and asked the pilot how much aride would cost.
"Rupees one thousand for 3 minutes" the pilot replied.
"That`s too much" said Santa.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I`ll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make any sound at all, you`ll have to pay me the whole amount."
Santa and Jeeto agreed and went for a thrilling ride.
After they landed, the pilot said to Santa, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."
"Maybe so," said Santa, "but I gotta tell you, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

 

[kpg]

Pole Length

A man walking down the street came upon Santa and Banta who are trying to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick.

Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"

Santa and Banta say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."

The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground and says, "22 feets," and walks away.

Santa was now quite mad and yelled back, "You idiot we were not trying to see how long it was...I need to know how high it is!

 

[kpg]

Fainting !

"How come you`re late?" asks the Manager as Santa walks in the door.
"It was awful," Santa explains. "I was walking down Mall road and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the road. He`d been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute."
"What did you do?" asks the Manager.
Santa says, "I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep myself from fainting!"

 

[kpg]

Explanation!

Santa wired home that he had been able to wind up his business trip a day early and would be home on Wednesday.

When he walked into his apartment, however, he found his wife, Jeeto, in bed with another man. Furious, he picked up his bag and stormed out; he met his mother-in-law on the street, told her what had happened and announced that he was filing a suit for divorce in the morning.

"Give my daughter a chance to explain before you do any thing." the older women pleaded.

Reluctantly, he agreed. An hour later, his mother-in-law phoned Santa at his office.

"I knew my daughter would have an explanation," a note of truimph in her voice. "She didn't receive your telegram!"

 

[kpg]

The doctor told Santa that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
What is the problem?" asked the doctor.
I am 2400 kms from home."

 

[Muzain]

WOw nice work man

 

[kpg]

 

[booleanB]

hik hiki එළ

 

[Santa]

mey mey kastiya owala inne mama nemei harida...

 

[prabs]

hahaha nice wrk bro...keeep it up....

 

[Pentagram]

hehe!

 

[archirasika]

nice stories, but length is big to read!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, thanks..............................

 

[ozone_buzzer]

Niceaaaa...

 

[sherlock]

ellazzzzzz

 

[I.Udara]

 

[kpg]