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[Dreamworks_naveen]

A new client meets a famous lawyer.

Client: Can you tell me how much do you charge?
Lawyer: I charge $200 to answer three questions!

Client: Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?
Lawyer: Yes it is, and what's your third question?

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me ... They must be gods!

A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me ... I must be a god!

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, Yes !! An amazing effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A man went to an auction. He bid on a parrot.
He really wanted this bird, so he kept on bidding,

but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher.

Finally, he won the bid. As he was paying, he said to the Auctioneer,
"I surely hope such a costly parrot can talk.

"Don’t worry", said the Auctioneer,
"He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Buyer to seller: Is your dog faithful?

Seller: Yes, I have sold him 3 times earlier also.

He is so faithful, everytime he returned back to me.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"

1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the cup is clean!"

Waiter instructs the cook: "Two teas, with one asked for a clean cup."

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Lalu: Why are all these people running?

Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Lalu: If only winner will get the cup, why are others running?

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Jokes-36

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Are we friends or Are we not?..
You told me once, but i forgot..
So tell me 'now' and tell me 'true'..
So i can say, i am here for you..
Of all the friends, i have ever met
"u' are the one i will never forget..
And if i die before u do..
I will go to heaven and wait for u..

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Friendship is not collection of hearts
But it is selection of hearts.
All friends r not true.
But true friends r very few! Like you.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

'FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE'
Take 1st letter from each word to get the word in which i mean a lot.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Ice is a cream, love is a dream,
But our friendship is evergreen.
Dont make friend before understanding
And Dont break friendship after understanding.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Santa for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' .

He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,

SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Santa : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Santa : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Prince Charles & Santa were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".

Santa thinks "how poetic"
Santa says, "pass the custard you bastard".

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Preeto was about to give birth to a baby.

Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great.

Preeto : If it looks like you, it would be a miracle.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A new client meets a famous lawyer.

Client: Can you tell me how much do you charge?
Lawyer: I charge $200 to answer three questions!

Client: Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?
Lawyer: Yes it is, and what's your third question?

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me ... They must be gods!

A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me ... I must be a god!

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.