Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
*****************
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much!
*****************
Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.
*****************
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
*****************
Why do men like blonde jokes??
Because they can understand them.
*****************
Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?
To see a butterfly.
*****************
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
That's cute, but can it pick up peanuts!
*****************
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
*****************
When I got home last night my wife demanded that I 'take her somewhere expensive' ... I took her to a petrol station ...
*****************
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool.
One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."
*****************
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
*****************
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much!
*****************
Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.
*****************
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
*****************
Why do men like blonde jokes??
Because they can understand them.
*****************
Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?
To see a butterfly.
*****************
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
That's cute, but can it pick up peanuts!
*****************
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
*****************
When I got home last night my wife demanded that I 'take her somewhere expensive' ... I took her to a petrol station ...
*****************
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool.
One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."
*****************
