Killinochchi, Tamil Eelam (Report by Andarea Thiyagaraja) – According to reliable reports a mysterious ghost has begun to Haunt Toilets in Killinochchi. Local residents have identified the ghost as none other than S.P. Thamilchelvan, who achieved Eelam due to a racist GoSL bomb while taking his morning dump inside his top security toilet.
While reports vary due to the nature of the ghost’s behavior according to our local reporter the Ghost of Thamilchelvan is scaring the shit (pun unintended) out of people inside toilets with his retarded Grin and his wail for Thai Hookers.
Due to this phenomenon hundreds of thousands of Tamil Citizens in Eelam are trying to leave Killinochchi and enter GoSL controlled territory. They how ever have been stopped (For their own good) by Soldiers in Eelam. In a completely underhanded manner this mass civilian movement is being publicized by GoSL propaganda machines as “civilians fleeing LTTE control”.
We here at TamilNet would like to stress that civilians are in no way fleeing the utopian land of soon to be achieved Eelam and urge our loyal supporters not be misled by these obvious lies.
It is further reported that due to the severity of the crisis Tamil Eelam Elite Ghost Buster team (Compromising Bhanu, Soosei, Nadeeshan and Pottu) would be deployed to capture the ghost and force him huant Sinhalese Toilets instead of Tamil Toilets.
It is yet unclear how and why the Ghost of ThamilChelvan left Eelam and returned to Killinochchi in the form of a Ghost but the general understanding is that it is (like all bad things) the fault of the Sinhalese who are known to commit TOILET GENOCIDE™. However some high ranking leaders inside the LTTE leadership are also contemplating on the possibility of the lack of Thai Hookers in Eelam afterlife.
While reports vary due to the nature of the ghost’s behavior according to our local reporter the Ghost of Thamilchelvan is scaring the shit (pun unintended) out of people inside toilets with his retarded Grin and his wail for Thai Hookers.
Due to this phenomenon hundreds of thousands of Tamil Citizens in Eelam are trying to leave Killinochchi and enter GoSL controlled territory. They how ever have been stopped (For their own good) by Soldiers in Eelam. In a completely underhanded manner this mass civilian movement is being publicized by GoSL propaganda machines as “civilians fleeing LTTE control”.
We here at TamilNet would like to stress that civilians are in no way fleeing the utopian land of soon to be achieved Eelam and urge our loyal supporters not be misled by these obvious lies.
It is further reported that due to the severity of the crisis Tamil Eelam Elite Ghost Buster team (Compromising Bhanu, Soosei, Nadeeshan and Pottu) would be deployed to capture the ghost and force him huant Sinhalese Toilets instead of Tamil Toilets.
It is yet unclear how and why the Ghost of ThamilChelvan left Eelam and returned to Killinochchi in the form of a Ghost but the general understanding is that it is (like all bad things) the fault of the Sinhalese who are known to commit TOILET GENOCIDE™. However some high ranking leaders inside the LTTE leadership are also contemplating on the possibility of the lack of Thai Hookers in Eelam afterlife.
Nice joke
