පිටසක්වල ප්රහාරයක්
පිටසක්වල ආක්රමණයක් ඇත්තටම මොන වගේ වෙයිද
Q
What would a realistic alien invasion actually look like?
A
“Sir, aliens have arrived in our solar system. It looks like an invasion!”
“Hot damn! Where are they heading? Washington? New York?”
“Jupiter, sir.”
“Jupiter? What are they doing on Jupiter?”
“It looks like they’re building wells to tap Jupiter’s hydrogen. Now they’re building fusion power plants. Oh, now they’re on Saturn. Looks like they’re extracting helium 3. Now they’re building facilities on Jupiter’s moons.”
“Well, let’s nuke them!”
“Our nukes will take two years to reach them. In that time their ships will be on the other side of the solar system. Or they’ll just swat them down. Oh, now they’re doing the same on Uranus and Neptune. Looks like they’re extracting organics deep down. Oh, and they’re building particle accelerators to make anti-matter.”
“Well, lets go and stop them!”
“We don’t have a ship that will take us that far, and it would take years to reach them.”
“Now what are they doing?”
“Looks like they’re strip mining mars and building fabrication plants. Oh, and it looks like China is sending nukes at them.”
“How damn. Let’s send our own too! Did we get them?”
“No sir. Their lasers melted the rockets before they escaped orbit.”
“Are they coming YET?”
“No sir. They’re still on Venus. Looks like they’re using the carbon dioxide there, Jovian water, and Uranian ammonia to create life while shading the atmosphere. It looks like they’re going to colonize venus.”
“Well why aren’t they coming at us yet?”
“Probably because there’s eight billion of us and we’ve spent twenty years arming to the teeth for their arrival. Oh! But we’re sending out our first wave of warships!”
“Yeah! Let’s kick ass.”
“We don’t know if they have asses sir. But the warships have been disabled.”
“Destroyed?”
“No sir. It looks like they shot off the drives, took out the weapons and attached a tug that pulled them to that facility they built on Deimos. Looks like a prisoner of war camp. No casualties reported.”
“Is it time? It’s been a hundred years.”
“Well sir, the environment is trashed, the population has collapsed to five billion, and we’ve lost the ability to launch. However, it looks as if the aliens are almost done colonizing Venus. From the display, the prisoners taken have bred to almost half a million there. The aliens are asking if we’d like to surrender yet.”
“Surrender? We haven’t even fired a shot!”
“Sir, at the rate of temperature increase, earth’s human carrying capacity will drop to less than one billion in fifty more years. The aliens transformed venus into a life boat for the human race. At this rate, we’re going to lose technological ability to detect the aliens, let alone fight them.”
“Damn aliens! Why didn’t they come down and invade properly and fight us man to… er… tentacle?”
“I dunno, sir. Maybe a civilization that can travel between stars isn’t stupid?”
පිටසක්වල ආක්රමණයක් ඇත්තටම මොන වගේ වෙයිද
Q
What would a realistic alien invasion actually look like?
A
“Sir, aliens have arrived in our solar system. It looks like an invasion!”
“Hot damn! Where are they heading? Washington? New York?”
“Jupiter, sir.”
“Jupiter? What are they doing on Jupiter?”
“It looks like they’re building wells to tap Jupiter’s hydrogen. Now they’re building fusion power plants. Oh, now they’re on Saturn. Looks like they’re extracting helium 3. Now they’re building facilities on Jupiter’s moons.”
“Well, let’s nuke them!”
“Our nukes will take two years to reach them. In that time their ships will be on the other side of the solar system. Or they’ll just swat them down. Oh, now they’re doing the same on Uranus and Neptune. Looks like they’re extracting organics deep down. Oh, and they’re building particle accelerators to make anti-matter.”
“Well, lets go and stop them!”
“We don’t have a ship that will take us that far, and it would take years to reach them.”
“Now what are they doing?”
“Looks like they’re strip mining mars and building fabrication plants. Oh, and it looks like China is sending nukes at them.”
“How damn. Let’s send our own too! Did we get them?”
“No sir. Their lasers melted the rockets before they escaped orbit.”
“Are they coming YET?”
“No sir. They’re still on Venus. Looks like they’re using the carbon dioxide there, Jovian water, and Uranian ammonia to create life while shading the atmosphere. It looks like they’re going to colonize venus.”
“Well why aren’t they coming at us yet?”
“Probably because there’s eight billion of us and we’ve spent twenty years arming to the teeth for their arrival. Oh! But we’re sending out our first wave of warships!”
“Yeah! Let’s kick ass.”
“We don’t know if they have asses sir. But the warships have been disabled.”
“Destroyed?”
“No sir. It looks like they shot off the drives, took out the weapons and attached a tug that pulled them to that facility they built on Deimos. Looks like a prisoner of war camp. No casualties reported.”
“Is it time? It’s been a hundred years.”
“Well sir, the environment is trashed, the population has collapsed to five billion, and we’ve lost the ability to launch. However, it looks as if the aliens are almost done colonizing Venus. From the display, the prisoners taken have bred to almost half a million there. The aliens are asking if we’d like to surrender yet.”
“Surrender? We haven’t even fired a shot!”
“Sir, at the rate of temperature increase, earth’s human carrying capacity will drop to less than one billion in fifty more years. The aliens transformed venus into a life boat for the human race. At this rate, we’re going to lose technological ability to detect the aliens, let alone fight them.”
“Damn aliens! Why didn’t they come down and invade properly and fight us man to… er… tentacle?”
“I dunno, sir. Maybe a civilization that can travel between stars isn’t stupid?”
Ehema wenna nam apita wada diyunu wenna onine. ehema wennanam apita kalin eyala paranamaya wela godaak kal wenna onine. Ehema welanam danatamath apita punchi hari igiyak labenna onene.
(හැබැයි බොරු කියන / මානසික රෝගයක් තියෙන කෙනෙක් වෙන්නත් පුළුවන්)
