if you were the poster of this thread and you actually had this problem and sent the above letter, I am sure they will reply,
Dear faggot,
Sorry about the inconvenience.
would like to help but just wondering how can I suck your dick when you already don't have one?
Thanks
Yours truly
.....
if you were my service provider, I'm sure, being the dick craving fag you are, you'd make up a dick just to suck the fuck out of it
sorry about that but let me know if I there is anything else I can do to help.
thats irrelevant my dear customer. you said "suck my dick and re bill me you little bitch." unfortunately I cannot help you given that you are dickless fag
as value added service you can cradle my balls
you can lick my asshole clean with your very capable tongue
thought the bugger will say the exact same and regretted right after what I told but anyway you wouldn't have balls if you don't have a dick 
if you wanna stretch it that far, you can attach your mouth to my asshole and eat my shit
faaaaaaaaaaark you sick niggaaa
that's what you'd think..but you'd always come back to me for your breakfast
not only will you be coming to me for your breakfast, but my asshole will become your favorite chef
heck my shit be in little pieces and soaked in alcohol that you'd call it cereal
you being a douchebag I may have to accept what you said as true although I wouldn't do it
you are not being appalling enough
I have being appealing to you for so many other instances although you failed to realize it
Well well well.. I don't want to be appealing for your bull shit like this
Thats your problem babes not mine
well I have hooked up with so many chicks and hooking up with a douchebag ain't gonna be missed by me, specially as I am someone who don't have sex with males let alone faggots 
