Funny Sinhala and English SMS

[Dhamatrix]

More

One day a monkey looked into mirror & said,
“Oh my ugly face, fat nose” and killed himself.
Promise me u will not look into mirror,
coz I dont wanna loose you!



I saw U on ROAD today.
U were lukin SO fine,
Ur face SO divine,
Ur walk SO perfect.
My HEART started singing a Sweet Song:
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!


Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?
No???
Quickly see your driving license.

 

[DJANURADHA@mp3]

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttt

 

[Dhamatrix]

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttt

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks!

 

[Dhamatrix]

More

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.


Teacher : Correct the sentence,
“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.



A : u r Active
B : u r Best
C : u r Cute
D : u r my Dearest
E : u r Excelant
F : u r alwayz First
G : u r Great
Sorry cant lie till Z…

 

[shadee]

Hari neannam u thama SMS kiyawanawa lol

 

[Dhamatrix]

More

Teacher : What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher


One beautiful girl went to the Bathroom
A boy kiss her
oh! what’s he feeling ?
He is touching all parts of her body…
Who is this lucky boy ?
He is “Lifeboy



Full form of maths!

M=mentally
A=admited
T=teacher
H=harassing
S=students

 

[Dark-Angel]

nice ones

 

[Dhamatrix]

More

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!


Girls misuse it!
models sell it!
photograhers cage it!
doctors advice it!
death freezes it!
artists create it!
Guess, what’s that?
It’s SMILE! KEEP SMILING!!




What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems,
subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies
&
division of friends.

 

[hbkrandil7]

Macho.... thawa sinhala ewa tikak dannako.....

 

[Dhamatrix]

Macho.... thawa sinhala ewa tikak dannako.....

Sinhala hambanenne hari aduwen.
sinhala thamai sira!
Mata labunu gamanma danava
digatama balapan macho!

 

[Dhamatrix]

More

Smart girls + Smart boys = AFFAIRS.
Smart girls + Fulish boys = EMPTY POCKET.
Smart boys + Fulish girls = PREGANCY.
Fulish girls + Fulish bous = MARIAGE.

BE CAREFUL!!!


Girls R like Computers...
As soon as U Commit 2 One,
U realize that,
If U had waitted a little longer.....
U could have had a better model!


Son: Mom, when I was on the bus
with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

 

[Dhamatrix]

More

A girl & boy were sitting alone,
that boy started touching de girl,
Girl : dont touch me, all this only after marriage.
Boy : ok call me when u r maried.



Father to son:
whenever i beat you,
you dont get annoyed,
how you control your anger?
son: i start cleaning the toilet
seat with your toothbrush.

Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
Hefcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top.



A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da school
He wrote:-
“Drive Carefully!
Don’t kill the students,
wait for the Teachers”



Maths teacher asked JOHNY
“If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ?
JOHNY replied “Sir! 3 new girl friends.



What is BUSINESS ?
Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.
Son: then Ok.
Dad goes o Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.
Dad:Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President:No
Dad:He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK.

 

[bashi]

This is not fair! How could u do this?
Didn't expect this from you!
Got a whole Channel on ur name and didn't even tell me? Animal Planet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China?
Coz there r so many Wing's and Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If u read dis, I'm SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I'm SMART.
If u fwd dis, u r spreading dat I'm SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz I'm SMART
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I’m Peter, not a saint.
I’m Paul not a POPE. I’m John not a Baptist.
The girl replied. Hi... I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband:
Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A:- "All the information you want, except you can't understand it."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q Why do Gods stay up in heaven?
A Because they are afraid of what they have created!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However,
you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They say Love is in the air...
shit if only I had a plane right now!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seeking luv iz a mission...
finding luv iz a complexed ambition...
so y not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Naps Prevent Old Age...
Especially If You Take Them While Driving!

 

[Dhamatrix]

Ela

This is not fair! How could u do this?
Didn't expect this from you!
Got a whole Channel on ur name and didn't even tell me? Animal Planet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China?
Coz there r so many Wing's and Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If u read dis, I'm SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I'm SMART.
If u fwd dis, u r spreading dat I'm SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz I'm SMART
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I’m Peter, not a saint.
I’m Paul not a POPE. I’m John not a Baptist.
The girl replied. Hi... I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband:
Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A:- "All the information you want, except you can't understand it."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q Why do Gods stay up in heaven?
A Because they are afraid of what they have created!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However,
you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They say Love is in the air...
shit if only I had a plane right now!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seeking luv iz a mission...
finding luv iz a complexed ambition...
so y not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Naps Prevent Old Age...
Especially If You Take Them While Driving!

KEEP GOING BRO!

 

[zanharjabir]

machan sinhala sms thva nadaa...
ela ela...

 

[Dhamatrix]

More

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
student: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything.




In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Student: I don’t know.
Examiner: You failed, what’s your name?
Student: See my legs & tell my name.


Teacher: what is skeleton?
Student: Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!


Lovers sitting in a park,
boy tries to kiss the girl..
Girl says No dear not all this before marriage..
Boy: Don’t worry darling I am already married.


A man sees a fat man
sitting in a train cabin.
Taunting, he asks:
Is this cabin for elephants only!
Fat man humbly replies:
No!Even monkeys like you can sit!



Teacher says to student, In Algebra
A=B
&
B=C.
It means A=C.
Now give relevant example.
Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter,
It means that I love your daughter.

 

[Dhamatrix]

Hi!

machan sinhala sms thva nadaa...
ela ela...

Denata ne macho.
Labunu gaman daannam.
OK.

 

[krizta]

ade ek vala tiyana pattama joke sms tika
Thank You soo Much Bro
Thava danna

 

[SlimThug]

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

• I've written a poem for you:
Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

• What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

• Banta: How does an attorney sleep?
Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

• Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.

• I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?

• A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes... vaat ees yorr opeeniun?

• Hi! Need one girl to marry... Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl's father must have his own bar...CHEERS

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

• Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

• Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS.

• The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.

• When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.

• Look at the world around u; u’ll see God's creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u’ll c God's providence. Look at the mirror u’ll c God's sense of humor.

• A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son!
Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad!

• You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.

• Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?
A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

• God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

• I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I lauf again

 

[bashi]

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.
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A husband said to his wife,
"No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
-----------------------------------------------------
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
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The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
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Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."


A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."


A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.


Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.


The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.


Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.


Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute