Google Romance

[Bumping]

http://www.google.com/romance/




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[Bumping]

http://www.google.com/romance/

1. What is Google Romance? Google Romance is a place where you can post all types of romantic information and, using our Soulmate Search[SIZE=-1]™[/SIZE], see search results that could, in theory, include the love of your life. Then we'll send you both on a Contextual DateTM, which we'll pay for while delivering to you relevant ads that we and our advertising partners think will help produce the dating results you're looking for.

2. That’s the exact same copy you used on the Google Romance landing page. Ah, so you noticed that, huh? It’s true, this general question and answer probably don’t belong in an FAQ to begin with. Please don’t tell our boss.



3. What is Soulmate Search?
Here on the Google Romance team, we follow the philosophy "Don't be medieval," so we brought only the latest psychographic and search algorithms to bear on the problem of hooking up our users. First you fill out an extensive personal profile carefully designed by a team of both married and single Google engineers for the express purpose of gathering and analyzing romantic information. Then you fill out an equally obscure and elaborate profile describing various attributes of the person with whom you wish to spend the rest of your life and click ‘Search Romance.’ It’s that simple.



4. Really? It’s that simple?
Well, you know how when you do a regular Google web search, you get back uncannily accurate search results?



5. Usually. But sometimes they’re a little off.Yeah, that’s why our early testers thought that Soulmate Search’s “Did you really mean…?” feature came in very handy.


6. What is Contextual Dating?
It’s a free date plus the added accrued value of the past decade’s worth of post-Industrial Age online marketing genius, all tied into a real-time, video-based, GPS-tracked, psychographically astute and environmentally pervasive promotional system.



7. Come again?
You see ads that might make your date better.

8. Such as?
Flowers. Music. Personal advice. E-greetings. Later on, depending on how our long-term opt-out natural-language-based monitoring system thinks things are going, personalized thank you notes, romantic getaway offers, various intimate pharmaceutical come-ons, engagement and bridal wear catalogs – you know the drill.



9. What if I don’t want to see contextual dating ads?
Don’t use the product.



10. What do you mean when you say Google Romance is a beta product?
What do you mean when you ask us what we mean when we say Google Romance is a beta product? It is what is it, okay? It’s new, it’s probably still buggy, which is to say that yes, by using this product now you conceivably are setting yourself up for a disastrous outcome – but on the other hand, you might also be on the verge of thrilling to an experience that will transform your very existence and only could have come about because you took this step, right here, right now. You’re online; take a chance. We may never pass this way again. Carpe diem. The world could, like, end tomorrow, you know? Gather ye rosebuds while --


11. Okay, okay, I’ll try it.
Great, babe, great.



12. So, um – how do we begin?
Just sit back and relax. And say, we’re curious – what’s your sign?

 

[Mozilla]

Profile Upload Rejected

You gave it your best shot, but things don't always turn out how you expected. This is because you either:

Fell for our April Fool’s joke, in which case ha ha, wasn't that amusing and harmless and mostly in good taste and not all psychologically damaging under various and sundry aspects of contemporary tort law, please don't sue us; or

Are genuinely enjoying, or least momentarily tolerating, our April Fool’s joke and wanted to surf your way into its every last nook and cranny, in which case

...ha ha, wasn't that amusing and harmless and mostly in good taste and not all psychologically damaging under various and sundry aspects of contemporary tort law, please don't sue us; and/or

you might want to take a trip down our April Fool’s memory lane, here or here or here. Enjoy.

 

[wKani]

Profile Upload Rejected

You gave it your best shot, but things don't always turn out how you expected. This is because you either:

Fell for our April Fool’s joke, in which case ha ha, wasn't that amusing and harmless and mostly in good taste and not all psychologically damaging under various and sundry aspects of contemporary tort law, please don't sue us; or

Are genuinely enjoying, or least momentarily tolerating, our April Fool’s joke and wanted to surf your way into its every last nook and cranny, in which case

...ha ha, wasn't that amusing and harmless and mostly in good taste and not all psychologically damaging under various and sundry aspects of contemporary tort law, please don't sue us; and/or

you might want to take a trip down our April Fool’s memory lane, here or here or here. Enjoy.

mata hituna seen eka...

 

[Bumping]

Profile Upload Rejected

You gave it your best shot, but things don't always turn out how you expected. This is because you either:

Fell for our April Fool’s joke, in which case ha ha, wasn't that amusing and harmless and mostly in good taste and not all psychologically damaging under various and sundry aspects of contemporary tort law, please don't sue us; or

Are genuinely enjoying, or least momentarily tolerating, our April Fool’s joke and wanted to surf your way into its every last nook and cranny, in which case

...ha ha, wasn't that amusing and harmless and mostly in good taste and not all psychologically damaging under various and sundry aspects of contemporary tort law, please don't sue us; and/or

you might want to take a trip down our April Fool’s memory lane, here or here or here. Enjoy.

baduwak vage kellak set wenvaa namm Onaa ekak ney hehe