Is not been Selfish, a weakness ?

[Nohim Ys]

I have some problem. Most of the time I've been trying to be good to everyone. Actually it's not trying, it's the way I am.
But now I feel that as an weakness of mine. I think I am not selfish enough. I think not having the ability to be selfish at moments is a weakness I have.
I really can't treat the people bad or ignore them,, it's not what I am. But that quality has pulled me back so many times.

As it's said while we're going to our goal, if our hand is an obstacle, we should cut it and pass through. That kinda of motivation we should have. But I just can't treat people in that way. It's so hard to maintain the momentum when they're not supporting. I don't know is that their selfishness or not, but I can't treat them bad as I don't feel good with it.

And I'm also not perfect. I have my weaknesses too. And I struggle a lot fighting with them, like I am too slow and I take time to understand things.
But as I have to be good to everyone as that's ma default mode, I can't be selfish.

Guys, what u think I should do. If u have any idea write and go.
Thx ​

 

[Randir]

sometimes bn

 

[Nohim Ys]

sometimes bn

ya bn,,,,
Feel So upset when some good qualities of us, pull us back from getting to our targets

 

[killer_leon]

I have some problem. Most of the time I've been trying to be good to everyone. Actually it's not trying, it's the way I am.
But now I feel that as an weakness of mine. I think I am not selfish enough. I think not having the ability to be selfish at moments is a weakness I have.
I really can't treat the people bad or ignore them,, it's not what I am. But that quality has pulled me back so many times.

As it's said while we're going to our goal, if our hand is an obstacle, we should cut it and pass through. That kinda of motivation we should have. But I just can't treat people in that way. It's so hard to maintain the momentum when they're not supporting. I don't know is that their selfishness or not, but I can't treat them bad as I don't feel good with it.

And I'm also not perfect. I have my weaknesses too. And I struggle a lot fighting with them, like I am too slow and I take time to understand things.
But as I have to be good to everyone as that's ma default mode, I can't be selfish.

Guys, what u think I should do. If u have any idea write and go.
Thx ​

same here bro

 

[Nohim Ys]

same here bro

Don't know what to do bn

 

[sasliit]

I have some problem. Most of the time I've been trying to be good to everyone. Actually it's not trying, it's the way I am.
But now I feel that as an weakness of mine. I think I am not selfish enough. I think not having the ability to be selfish at moments is a weakness I have.
I really can't treat the people bad or ignore them,, it's not what I am. But that quality has pulled me back so many times.

As it's said while we're going to our goal, if our hand is an obstacle, we should cut it and pass through. That kinda of motivation we should have. But I just can't treat people in that way. It's so hard to maintain the momentum when they're not supporting. I don't know is that their selfishness or not, but I can't treat them bad as I don't feel good with it.

And I'm also not perfect. I have my weaknesses too. And I struggle a lot fighting with them, like I am too slow and I take time to understand things.
But as I have to be good to everyone as that's ma default mode, I can't be selfish.

Guys, what u think I should do. If u have any idea write and go.
Thx ​

my advice is let it go let it go....
down even think about your weakness.
cz you are perfect friend than this selfish world.
so let it go and stay as wt u r nw

 

[sachith19920726]

this is what u r.. dont try to change that...
and dont b silly

 

[Appuham"e"]

macho their is a saying, "You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks", so just ignore them when it happens and make your self more comfortable.

 

[Dewrangi]

Don't change your good qualities brother.Be yourself. The good things that you do will really be paid off in its best way. People will think that they can fool you, cos' you are helping them no matter who they are. But, if you know who they are and their attitudes, then you know how to handle the situation. You can still keep doing the good things, cos' you know the truth. But you have to be tactful and stay away from the problems that they would bring to your life.

Everything has limits. So, while being a good person, you should be smart enough, not to let everybody into your life. In other words, only few people should be able to touch your heart (either make you happy or cry) and talk with your feelings. When you get appreciations or criticisms by all the random people in your life, you should be able get the real message behind it. As a person who is always being good and helpful, you should always maintain boundaries in such way that no body can ruin your life. Cos' when you are soft and being nice, people generally tend to play with your feelings. You can get hurt easily. So, you should not ignore the people, but should ignore their bad words. You do your best and who cares about the rest. Be happy and be alert.

 

[Shadow.Walker]

macho their is a saying, "You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks", so just ignore them when it happens and make your self more comfortable.

but sometimes there are some dogs trying to bite you. So in that case you have stop for a while, throw couple of stones and then go.

 

[Shiny Navoda]

Don't regret bro.. this is a good quality which everyone should have ,, but ordinary people have no such moral values in life ,,, so be proud of ur self ,,, u know the art of living

 

[elakirinish]

As i read i feel that its me talking. I too feel the same way right at this moment. Seriously. I obviously can not advise you coz im in the same boat.
But just thought of replying. You may contact me if need to express your situation...

 

[Nohim Ys]

my advice is let it go let it go....
down even think about your weakness.
cz you are perfect friend than this selfish world.
so let it go and stay as wt u r nw

I know machan,, I should stay the way I am. May be as a good friend. But I also have my limits ne.. That's the problem..!!

this is what u r.. dont try to change that...
and dont b silly

Um not silly bn, It's not that um letting others use me. Nop, that's not the case. Those people don't like to stand alone. So dependent they are. That's the problem. How much I motivate them and how much I try to improve the value of them,, they're not supporting enough. They are too dependent, and in the process of trying to make them independent, I feel like um loosing ma own way and the things I should do. That's why been too good is a problem for me.

macho their is a saying, "You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks", so just ignore them when it happens and make your self more comfortable.

Thx a lot for letting me know about that quote bn
Yes, I wouldn't care about what they say, I can ignore it easily if that's the case. But the problem for me is,, there're people who who don't like to stand alone independently. I've motivated them so much,, but no use. And there dependencies can affect me also, um not walking alone. If I decided to walk alone being selfish, then there's no prob. But according to the way I am, I can't be such rude.

but sometimes there are some dogs trying to bite you. So in that case you have stop for a while, throw couple of stones and then go.

Can be true,, but still I think best option is not to involve just to ignore.
Luckily, I don't have any dogs around me, wanting to bite me, currently, according to ma awareness.

Don't regret bro.. this is a good quality which everyone should have ,, but ordinary people have no such moral values in life ,,, so be proud of ur self ,,, u know the art of living

Yes, um well aware of ma self. Who am I,, what's good in me, and what are ma weak points. But still um not sure I know the art of living. Surely I have dealt with many situations and many people well. But when it comes to be selfish a bit, I can't do it as it's not me.

As i read i feel that its me talking. I too feel the same way right at this moment. Seriously. I obviously can not advise you coz im in the same boat.
But just thought of replying. You may contact me if need to express your situation...

Thx a lot brother.
Surely, I'll contact u if ther's any need

 

[jolySira]

to some extent, you have to be selfish... If not, people will get u as a fool for sure. but always keep that limit less than the selfless portion in you.

 

[Nohim Ys]

Don't change your good qualities brother.Be yourself. The good things that you do will really be paid off in its best way. People will think that they can fool you, cos' you are helping them no matter who they are. But, if you know who they are and their attitudes, then you know how to handle the situation. You can still keep doing the good things, cos' you know the truth. But you have to be tactful and stay away from the problems that they would bring to your life.

Everything has limits. So, while being a good person, you should be smart enough, not to let everybody into your life. In other words, only few people should be able to touch your heart (either make you happy or cry) and talk with your feelings. When you get appreciations or criticisms by all the random people in your life, you should be able get the real message behind it. As a person who is always being good and helpful, you should always maintain boundaries in such way that no body can ruin your life. Cos' when you are soft and being nice, people generally tend to play with your feelings. You can get hurt easily. So, you should not ignore the people, but should ignore their bad words. You do your best and who cares about the rest. Be happy and be alert.

I don't want to change ma self. But I feel like some good qualities of me are a obstacle in making effective and good decisions. If I can be less helping and little bit selfish , that would give me chance of walking alone to ma goal without caring about others. And of course I don't care about the way others think about me, so I can easily do that. But when if I get a feeling um being selfish, I'll be upset about ma self. So it's little bit hard to decide the limit of helping others.
Um afraid that without selfishness, I won't be able to achieve the big dreams I have. Even though I don't care about how others think about me,, I do care about others ne. I just can't leave everyone behind.

 

[Wal pora]

 

[Nohim Ys]

I have all of those photos and quotes bn,, Bruce Lee and his Jeet Kung Do is ma fav.
And Thx a lot to reminding me them again.
"Be Water",, exactly what I need to be

 

[Dewrangi]

I don't want to change ma self. But I feel like some good qualities of me are a obstacle in making effective and good decisions. If I can be less helping and little bit selfish , that would give me chance of walking alone to ma goal without caring about others. And of course I don't care about the way others think about me, so I can easily do that. But when if I get a feeling um being selfish, I'll be upset about ma self. So it's little bit hard to decide the limit of helping others.
Um afraid that without selfishness, I won't be able to achieve the big dreams I have. Even though I don't care about how others think about me,, I do care about others ne. I just can't leave everyone behind.

Don't worry malli. First of all, when u r going to ur target, sometimes you have to compromise things, and you have to leave your loved ones behind. That does not mean that you forget them and move on. You still can take care of everything while hitting your targets. Without making decisions you won't be able to move on. You do everything for yourself and for your loved ones. I can tell you my experience, my father passed away 11 years ago, the day before my last examination of my BSc. I sat for the exam while my dad's body was there still at home. My relatives were wondering why did I do that like I am a senseless person. But, I am the eldest of my family, so I had to do that for mine and my family's future. Now, I am in US, I left mom and my loving brother (and his family behind), but no matter how busy I am, I talk with them everyday for an hour. I take care of them as if I am in SL. They just call me whenever they need me. This is how I compromise. Of course we miss each other badly. But this is the life. I had big dreams like u and I achieved all of them. Now everybody is happy. But this needs mutual understanding.

Making important decisions in your life is essential for your success. It won't be a selfishness as long as you know what you are doing. Cos' some people, when they are going for their dreams, they will become totally different, like if they are coming from a different world and they don't know anybody that they used to knew before. That is the real selfishness. But, smart people who are going to their targets will never change their good attitudes and good qualities. You cannot make each and everybody happy. So, you have to choose the people that you really want to care about and the people who really do care about your success. Then it would be easier to make a choice in your life. Sometimes, you have to make a choice for yourself, which will bring tears to someone's eyes for few days or may be months. But, they themselves will realize how important that your decision for everybody's happiness. So, go for your dreams and stop thinking too much. It is only you, who is responsible for your success or your failure.That is what I believe.

 

[.::|Dark_Knight|::.]

It is hard to do right things, easy to do bad things. You are doing a right thing. That is why it is so hard. Always try to do the right thing. Try to be unique. Just ignore the people who don't respect and care about you.

 

[Nohim Ys]

Don't worry malli. First of all, when u r going to ur target, sometimes you have to compromise things, and you have to leave your loved ones behind. That does not mean that you forget them and move on. You still can take care of everything while hitting your targets. Without making decisions you won't be able to move on. You do everything for yourself and for your loved ones. I can tell you my experience, my father passed away 11 years ago, the day before my last examination of my BSc. I sat for the exam while my dad's body was there still at home. My relatives were wondering why did I do that like I am a senseless person. But, I am the eldest of my family, so I had to do that for mine and my family's future. Now, I am in US, I left mom and my loving brother (and his family behind), but no matter how busy I am, I talk with them everyday for an hour. I take care of them as if I am in SL. They just call me whenever they need me. This is how I compromise. Of course we miss each other badly. But this is the life. I had big dreams like u and I achieved all of them. Now everybody is happy. But this needs mutual understanding.

Making important decisions in your life is essential for your success. It won't be a selfishness as long as you know what you are doing. Cos' some people, when they are going for their dreams, they will become totally different, like if they are coming from a different world and they don't know anybody that they used to knew before. That is the real selfishness. But, smart people who are going to their targets will never change their good attitudes and good qualities. You cannot make each and everybody happy. So, you have to choose the people that you really want to care about and the people who really do care about your success. Then it would be easier to make a choice in your life. Sometimes, you have to make a choice for yourself, which will bring tears to someone's eyes for few days or may be months. But, they themselves will realize how important that your decision for everybody's happiness. So, go for your dreams and stop thinking too much. It is only you, who is responsible for your success or your failure.That is what I believe.

It's like the greatest advice I've ever got. Thx a lot.
Um not sure I'll be able to do it in the best way, but I'll still try ma best to compromise things. Thx a lot Again