MICROSOFT HELP DESK!
No 2
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:
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Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer "Ok.
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer: "No.
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No.
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
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Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
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Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done.
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'.
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk.
Customer:: "What?
Tech Support: Did you buy MS word?
Customer: "No..."
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Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
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Tech Support:: Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK'button displayed?
Customer: Wow. How can yousee my screen from there?
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Tech Support:: Type 'A:' at the prompt.
Customer:: How do you spell that?
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Tech Support:: What operating system are you running?
Customer:: Pentium.
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Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, butthe computer won't boot properly.
Tech Support: "What does it say?
Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk.
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.
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Tech Support: Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours.
Customer:Is that Eastern time?"
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Tech Support:: What does the screen say now?
Customer: It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer
isfaulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix theproblem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later,the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumentedDOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.Letme know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes
1 hour later...........
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
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Customer Care Officer: I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
Customer Care Officer: Could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
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CLICK HERE FOR NO 1
