my 1st poem (guys need comments)

[somadasa]

mama 1st time poem ekak liwwe!mama meka liwwe news paper ekaka giya article ekak dekala!meke samahark then wala eka pelata galaa noyana bawa mama piligannawa! eth ae adu paadu maga ara idiriyedi wada saarathka nirmaanayak kireemata uthsaha ganimi!
PS eka karadun MALINGA

ta wishesha sthuthiya!

 

[panchaz]

patta poem ekak
good work some brother

 

[«šLÎm š håÐÿ»]

woow..nice poem Some aiye...


Rep added..

 

[kudos_utopia]

wow!
Somadasa!!
Kavikarayek wela!
Wow elazz bro!!!! .......niyamaii

 

[Po Di-Al]

very nice machan

Ela wadak

 

[somadasa]

patta poem ekak
good work some brother

thanks pancha

woow..nice poem Some aiye...


Rep added..

thanks bro

 

[Asoka Hemantha]

oh... hoda nirmanayak sahodarya...hadawathinma subapathanwa.. obe me nirmanetath.. obe hakiyawatah..obey hamadeema sarthaka wenna kiyala parthana karanawa!!!
theruwan saranai!!!

 

[somadasa]

wow!
Somadasa!!
Kavikarayek wela!
Wow elazz bro!!!! .......niyamaii

thanks macan

very nice machan

Ela wadak

thanks macho

 

[somadasa]

oh... hoda nirmanayak sahodarya...hadawathinma subapathanwa.. obe me nirmanetath.. obe hakiyawatah..obey hamadeema sarthaka wenna kiyala parthana karanawa!!!
theruwan saranai!!!

bohoma sththuthi machan obe adahas dekweema gena

 

[Hayao]

Wow nice poem bro. So touching.

 

[Asoka Hemantha]

bohoma sththuthi machan obe adahas dekweema gena

 

[somadasa]

Wow nice poem bro. So touching.

thanks bro

 

[´•.¦±RaNgA±¦.•´]

hoda nirmanayak digatama liyanna

 

[somadasa]

Wow nice poem bro. So touching.

hoda nirmanayak digatama liyanna

thanks machan

 

[Mindada hee sara..]

නියමයිනේ මචං... ! ඔයාට දුකේදි උණුවෙන හදවතක් තියෙනවා. දිගටම ලියන්න. පලවෙනි නිර්මාණයම සාර්ථකයි ! ඤාව් !

 

[somadasa]

නියමයිනේ මචං... ! ඔයාට දුකේදි උණුවෙන හදවතක් තියෙනවා. දිගටම ලියන්න. පලවෙනි නිර්මාණයම සාර්ථකයි ! ඤාව් !

thanks alot bro

 

[Hasitha-Kasun]

elazzzzzzzzzzz

 

[smaldeniya]

mama 1st time poem ekak liwwe!mama meka liwwe news paper ekaka giya article ekak dekala!meke samahark then wala eka pelata galaa noyana bawa mama piligannawa! eth ae adu paadu maga ara idiriyedi wada saarathka nirmaanayak kireemata uthsaha ganimi!
PS eka karadun MALINGA

ta wishesha sthuthiya!

නියමයි මචන් good work keep it up bro

 

[twisted]

I appreciate the effort ..and i can't say it's perfect cos i spotted many flaws in your poem..one being the flow as you have noticed and some line don't connect to each other they way they rhyme differ. but that happens to most of us in the first time so you will ditch most of these lil imperfections as you go on ...keep writing, good luck.

 

[somadasa]

elazzzzzzzzzzz

thanks bro

නියමයි මචන් good work keep it up bro

thanks machan