Rib Ticklingly funny Hadiths!

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

This comes from a rather longish essay by Baron Bodissey. I have picked out the ones I considered most funny.

Enjoy:

Sahih Muslim Book 028, Number 5612:

Buraida reported on the authority of his father that Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: He who played chess is like one who dyed his hand with the flesh and blood of swine.

So the game of chess which actually sharpens your brain is like dyeing hands blood, huh? Does this explain why Muslims are so outnumbered by Jews in the Noble Prizes?

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 516:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "If anyone of you rouses from sleep and performs the ablution, he should wash his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out thrice, because Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all the night."

Listen folks! Just like one Santa gives all the world's kids' presents for Christmas, one Satan stays in all sleeping folks' noses all night!!! Its true, Mo says so, must be so!

 

[ela_eluwa120]

You have quoted all the hadith out of context and you have taken these from a racist Jewish web site.

 

[IcedEarth]

You have quoted all the hadith out of context and you have taken these from a racist Jewish web site.

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 537:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said ?"If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease."

Another instance of "Islamic science"?

 

[dilankandy]

Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 537:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said ?"If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease."

Another instance of "Islamic science"?

Are these real ???? (I havent read quran yet. but its hard to believe that these parts are in muslim holy books) Why dont muslim falks comment here...

 

[ela_eluwa120]

These are Hadiths machan, not the quran.

 

[ela_eluwa120]

Book 040, Number 6844:

'A'isha reported that she heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The people would be assembled on the Day of Resurrection barefooted, naked and uncircumcised. I said: Allah's Messenger, will the male and the female be together on the Day and would they be looking at one another? Upon this Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: 'A'isha, the matter would be too serious for them to look to one another.

 

[sudunone]

Book 040, Number 6844:

'A'isha reported that she heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The people would be assembled on the Day of Resurrection barefooted, naked and uncircumcised. I said: Allah's Messenger, will the male and the female be together on the Day and would they be looking at one another? Upon this Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: 'A'isha, the matter would be too serious for them to look to one another.

Why do they have to come naked??

 

[ela_eluwa120]

Why do they have to come naked??

thats why it is rib-tickling funny hadith

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Book 040, Number 6844:

'A'isha reported that she heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The people would be assembled on the Day of Resurrection barefooted, naked and uncircumcised. I said: Allah's Messenger, will the male and the female be together on the Day and would they be looking at one another? Upon this Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: 'A'isha, the matter would be too serious for them to look to one another.

චීයා. බලන්නකෝ , අයේෂාත් පොඩි කෙල්ල උනාට අහන ප්‍රස්න.

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 509:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: "Ha", Satan will laugh at him."

Again, irrational & stupid words!

 

[ela_eluwa120]

චීයා. බලන්නකෝ , අයේෂාත් පොඩි කෙල්ල උනාට අහන ප්‍රස්න.

 

[hafizsaad]

thats why it is rib-tickling funny hadith

All the hadith actually and realy taken out of context, there is no Fun like thing here.
Why you budhist dont mind your own business. I think this is also a nirvana acheiving trick in your religion or may be the teaching of buddha@ to make fun with other religion irrationaly.
If any muslim person criticise or make fun with your religion, you start weeping and shouting...
it is not fair game. we have to give respect to take respect.

 

[ela_eluwa120]

All the hadith actually and realy taken out of context, there is no Fun like thing here.

I already knew that you are going post this comment.

You have quoted all the hadith out of context and you have taken these from a racist Jewish web site.

 

[hafizsaad]

I already knew that you are going post this comment.

you can search personaly the background of these hadith at google.
what about my other comments about your fun.

 

[ela_eluwa120]

Why you budhist dont mind your own business. I think this is also a nirvana acheiving trick in your religion or may be the teaching of buddha@ to make fun with other religion irrationaly.
If any muslim person criticise or make fun with your religion, you start weeping and shouting...
it is not fair game. we have to give respect to take respect.

Look at yourself first. What is hafizsaad, dwelling in Islamabad, Pakistan doing in a Sri Lankan Buddhist forum. Don't you have any-other work in your life in addition to propergating your faith here.

 

[ela_eluwa120]

If any muslim person criticise or make fun with your religion, you start weeping and shouting...
it is not fair game. we have to give respect to take respect.

All the critiques against Buddhism are answered fully with all the details. You can find them searching this religious forum.

 

[ela_eluwa120]

Why you budhist dont mind your own business.

Buddhist do mind. They don't go to Pakistani forums to preach Buddhism.

 

[amila_90210]

http://www.chesscube.com/

පට්ට ගේම් එක