Emergency
The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up Udurawana on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told him it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file.
After more than 30 minutes Udurawana appears all tired and panting for breath.
The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay...
Udurawana replies, 'Boss when I went to the lift it said 'DURING AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE USE THE STAIRCASE'!!!
One way
A policeman pulled Udurawana over after he had been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Udurawana : No, but wherever it is, it must be bad, because all the people are leaving.
Any great man ?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked Udurawana: Any great man born in this country?
Udurawana : No sir, only small Babies!!!
How do you do ?
An Englishman and Udurawana inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Udurawana : Good evening, we open the zip and do!
Engine Trouble
Udurawana was on board in a plane from Colombo to New York ...
Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed, but we still have three engines left. So there is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled,."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another hour. But don't worry, we still have one more engine left."
Udurawana turned to the man in the next seat and sighed, "If we lose the last engine also, we'll have to be up in the air forever !"
What would you like to hear?
A doctor, a teacher & Udurawana are talking about the death.
Udurawana asks " Suppose if you die and your friends and family are mourning you. What would you like to hear them say about you, when you're in your casket ?"
Doctor : "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
Teacher : "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
Udurawana : "I would like to hear them say... LOOK! HE'S MOVING!"
Marriage
American : In our country, marriage even takes place with email.
Udurawana : In Sri Lanka , it is only with a female.
Real Future Tense
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Udurawana: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up Udurawana on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told him it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file.
After more than 30 minutes Udurawana appears all tired and panting for breath.
The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay...
Udurawana replies, 'Boss when I went to the lift it said 'DURING AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE USE THE STAIRCASE'!!!
One way
A policeman pulled Udurawana over after he had been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Udurawana : No, but wherever it is, it must be bad, because all the people are leaving.
Any great man ?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked Udurawana: Any great man born in this country?
Udurawana : No sir, only small Babies!!!
How do you do ?
An Englishman and Udurawana inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Udurawana : Good evening, we open the zip and do!
Engine Trouble
Udurawana was on board in a plane from Colombo to New York ...
Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed, but we still have three engines left. So there is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled,."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another hour. But don't worry, we still have one more engine left."
Udurawana turned to the man in the next seat and sighed, "If we lose the last engine also, we'll have to be up in the air forever !"
What would you like to hear?
A doctor, a teacher & Udurawana are talking about the death.
Udurawana asks " Suppose if you die and your friends and family are mourning you. What would you like to hear them say about you, when you're in your casket ?"
Doctor : "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
Teacher : "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
Udurawana : "I would like to hear them say... LOOK! HE'S MOVING!"
Marriage
American : In our country, marriage even takes place with email.
Udurawana : In Sri Lanka , it is only with a female.
Real Future Tense
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Udurawana: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
