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Udurawana is baCK!
- Thread starter RajNOX
- Start date
Udurawana with a computer
Udurawana joined new job & got a chance of working with a computer for the 1st time.
1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Udurawana : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Udurawana joined new job & got a chance of working with a computer for the 1st time.
1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Udurawana : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Who is the boss ??
Udurawana was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
Udurawana stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said,
"From now on, I want you to know that *I* am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.
Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair ...."
"The funeral director," said his wife.
Udurawana was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
Udurawana stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said,
"From now on, I want you to know that *I* am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.
Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair ...."
"The funeral director," said his wife.
ela ela
Break Into the House
Udurawana went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no,no!" said Udurawana. "I just want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
Udurawana went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no,no!" said Udurawana. "I just want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
Hearing
Udurawana had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.
He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
Udurawana replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
Udurawana had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.
He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
Udurawana replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
Name of dogs
Udurawana who had acquired two new dogs, was visiting his friend,
and the friend asked what their names were.
Udurawana responded by saying that one was named "Rolex" and one was named "Gemex".
His friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"They're watch dogs!" answered Udurawana.
Udurawana who had acquired two new dogs, was visiting his friend,
and the friend asked what their names were.
Udurawana responded by saying that one was named "Rolex" and one was named "Gemex".
His friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"They're watch dogs!" answered Udurawana.
What is further away
Udurawana & neighbor living in Kandy were sitting one night on a bench talking..... ...
The neighbor says to Udurawana,
"Which do you think is further away..... Colombo or the Moon ?"
Udurawana turns and says " Colombo "
"Why ?????" The neighbor asks
"Can you see Colombo from here ????" Udurawana replies .
Udurawana & neighbor living in Kandy were sitting one night on a bench talking..... ...
The neighbor says to Udurawana,
"Which do you think is further away..... Colombo or the Moon ?"
Udurawana turns and says " Colombo "
"Why ?????" The neighbor asks
"Can you see Colombo from here ????" Udurawana replies .
The act of unlocking
A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.
He went to the service department and found the mechanic Udurawana.
Udurawana working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As the customer watched from the passenger's side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!"
"I know," answered Udurawana. "I already got that side. Now I am trying to open driver's side "
A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.
He went to the service department and found the mechanic Udurawana.
Udurawana working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As the customer watched from the passenger's side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!"
"I know," answered Udurawana. "I already got that side. Now I am trying to open driver's side "
