Wonderful Definitions

aslammzm

Member
Nov 1, 2008
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http://aslammzm.blogspot.com
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School:
A place where Papa pays and Son plays.


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Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.


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Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


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Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.


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Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.


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Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


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Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"


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Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


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Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


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Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.


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Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


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Father:
A banker provided by nature.


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Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.


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Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


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Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


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Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

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Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.


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Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


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Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

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Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


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Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


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Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.

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Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.


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Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.


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Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise