adult jokes..only for 18+...(funny)...updated on replies.....

[migaramk]

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )
GIRL: ......Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )
GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!

 

[migaramk]

Teacher : We have to stop reproduction of all these mosquitoes.
Student : Thats really not possible
Teacher : Why?
Student : Because its not possible to make a tiny size condom for mosquitoes.

 

[RCROCKS]

Old

But gold. thanks

 

[migaramk]

Whats the description of prostitute, wife & girlfriend in mobile language?

First one is prepaid, second is postpaid and the last one is democard.​

 

[bishop]

YA,,,,,,MAXXXA

 

[migaramk]

Two ladies talking to each other

Lady 1: How come your husband is coming home early now a days?

Lady 2: Bcoz i have started a new rule.

Lady 1: What is it?

Lady 2: Sex will be started sharp at Nine whether he is here or not.

 

[migaramk]

Women is the best vehicle in the world.

Front - 2 bumpers!
Back - 2 bumpers!
Self lubricating when hot!
Monthly automatic engine oil change!
Every type of piston fits!​

 

[migaramk]

Women's tennis is more complicated to watch because in every shot,
3 balls bounce and you are in confusion,

Which ball to see............?​

 

[sydney007]

ha ha ha ela ela machan

 

[migaramk]

What is invisible sex?


A male Negro f**king a female Negro under moonless night in a coal mine wearing a black condom.
​

 

[migaramk]

Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth is spkr,my left breast is
tuner, right 1 is volume.

Man:Can I try?(touches d
breasts)no sound????

Girl:U havent plugged in yet!​

 

[coolkasun]

Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth is spkr,my left breast is
tuner, right 1 is volume.

Man:Can I try?(touches d
breasts)no sound????

Girl:U havent plugged in yet!​

 

[KARR]

Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth is spkr,my left breast is
tuner, right 1 is volume.

Man:Can I try?(touches d
breasts)no sound????

Girl:U havent plugged in yet!​

 

[migaramk]

Nurse lost her CAT In hospital she asked.........

Did anyone saw pussy???????.................all men stood up......!!!!

I mean anyone has pussy??????............. all women stood up........!!!!

I mean to say did anyone saw my pussy?????............ all doctors stood up......!!!!!!​

 

[migaramk]

prison & the prisoner very very funny................................

On their wedding night the bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm
a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me
first?"
-
"OK, Sweetheart. to put it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put
the prisoner in the prison.
-
And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying
face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
-
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have
escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
-
After the second time, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl,
thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a
suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
-
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
-
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again." Simply
turning his head, He explaines to her, "Honey, he didn't get a life
sentence!"

 

[migaramk]

Teacher: Do u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away..​

 

[lahiru7]

hikz maxxa machan ++ rep but im still 17 kamak nane baluwata

 

[Dileeesha]

thwa daapan ko. maxa ban XD
rep++

 

[h_abeysinghe]

lolz patta ban
rep denna bae lu

 

[Rovin]

Fatta ban