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▀▄▀Jokes ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶Jokes٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶Jokes▀▄▀
- Thread starter sachii
- Start date
Labor Pains
Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The husband feels really bad for his wife so he decides they will try it.
The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the husband says, "I don't feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her husband tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She is feeling a little pain but her husband is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are complete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn't hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they
are both feeling great.
A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.
Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The husband feels really bad for his wife so he decides they will try it.
The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the husband says, "I don't feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her husband tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She is feeling a little pain but her husband is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are complete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn't hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they
are both feeling great.
A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.
Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The husband feels really bad for his wife so he decides they will try it.
The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the husband says, "I don't feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her husband tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She is feeling a little pain but her husband is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are complete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn't hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they
are both feeling great.
A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.
hutaaaaaa
Got Milk?...
Little Johnny had not studied for his life science exam.
The teacher in the one room school house was giving an oral exam.
"What are the four main advantages of breast milk?" she asked.
"No need to boil." called one student.
"And another?" the teacher questioned.
"It never goes sour." said another child.
"Correct." said the teacher.
"It is available whenever is necessary." called out another.
"Johnny." she asked. "Do you have the last answer?"
"Sure," he said. "It is available in attractive containers of varying sizes."
He got an "A".
Little Johnny had not studied for his life science exam.
The teacher in the one room school house was giving an oral exam.
"What are the four main advantages of breast milk?" she asked.
"No need to boil." called one student.
"And another?" the teacher questioned.
"It never goes sour." said another child.
"Correct." said the teacher.
"It is available whenever is necessary." called out another.
"Johnny." she asked. "Do you have the last answer?"
"Sure," he said. "It is available in attractive containers of varying sizes."
He got an "A".
මං ගියා මේ ත්රෙඩ් එකෙන්..ac2000 & Nadun..උඹලා දෙන්නගේ සපොර්ට් එකට තෑන්ක්ස්..
ay moko une koheda yanneමං ගියා මේ ත්රෙඩ් එකෙන්..ac2000 & Nadun..උඹලා දෙන්නගේ සපොර්ට් එකට තෑන්ක්ස්..
ay moko une koheda yanne
එකෙක්වත් කමෙන්ට් එකක්වත් දාන්නේ නෑනේ..බලනවා විතරයි..ත්රෙඩ් එකටම පෝස්ට් දාලා තියෙන්නේ පස් දෙනෙක් විතර..
කරගෙන යන්න..එල වැඩේ..ඔක්කොම ජෝක් ටික එක ත්රෙඩ් එකකට ආවානම්..
hari har egollo day. api meka karagena yamu. passe anitha aya balay. adumagane mewa balala egollo fun ekak gannawanam ekath ati neඑකෙක්වත් කමෙන්ට් එකක්වත් දාන්නේ නෑනේ..බලනවා විතරයි..ත්රෙඩ් එකටම පෝස්ට් දාලා තියෙන්නේ පස් දෙනෙක් විතර..
කරගෙන යන්න..එල වැඩේ..ඔක්කොම ජෝක් ටික එක ත්රෙඩ් එකකට ආවානම්..
hari har egollo day. api meka karagena yamu. passe anitha aya balay. adumagane mewa balala egollo fun ekak gannawanam ekath ati ne
එක අතකින් ඒකත් ඇත්ත තමයි..
these r dirty kinds of jokes, pardon me!
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.
But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.
She finally died after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, 'Lord, they're finally together.'
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, 'Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?'
The friend replied, 'I think he means her legs.'
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.
But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.
She finally died after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, 'Lord, they're finally together.'
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, 'Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?'
The friend replied, 'I think he means her legs.'
One woman stops a taxi.
- To the airport, please.
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says:
- You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
- Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant.
- Well, you haven’t arrived to the airport yet neither.
- To the airport, please.
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says:
- You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
- Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant.
- Well, you haven’t arrived to the airport yet neither.
A very good magician has hypnotised an entire audience. He has them under his complete control and they are willing do whatever he tells them to do. Unfortunately, at the vital moment, he trips over the microphone cord,
lands on his ass and says "Shit!"
lands on his ass and says "Shit!"
There are four kinds of sex :
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
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