Wrestlemania 25
First off, thank you for the tremendous reception for my return column, which did off the charts business. Of course, predictably, the suits at UGO have begged FG3 to come back. But this time it's under my terms. I write what I want, when I feel like it. Yeah I'm stuck with this jagoff editor again, and yet again he went to Mania, so hopefully he'll stay in Houston. Anyhow, Gold is back. When you least expect it. For all you haters, keep hating, cause all you're doing is giving me the ratings.
Wrestlemania the 25th kinda sucked. It was flat. The booking was uninspired. There was one great match and one great return in the form of the Dragon. Here's my match by match review to follow up last week's column:
feature by Fernwood Gold III
MIZ/MORRISON VS THE COLONS
Couldn't tell you if this was good or not because someone got REAL stupid and pulled this from the live broadcast. The editor texted me from Texas telling me this match was on and I thought he was working me. Why? For Kid Rock? STUPID. This was one of my most anticipated matches for the show. If anything, this should tell you how the WWE views tag teams these days. It's time for The Miz and Morrison singles pushes. What do they do now with the tag team division? Are there even any other tag teams?
MONEY IN THE BANK
This totally exceeded my expectations and a nice surprising finish. They wisely had the big men do their thing early in the match and then got them the hell out of there. This was well booked all around and there were the usual crazy ass spots. I was happy to see Christian again step it up. Also, he is crazy over.
Chester had some good logic about having Punk go over in that he felt this is them making up for the fact that they botched his push last time. If they had any common sense, which when you look at the booking of the title matches, they should have Punk go heel now. The lack of Evan Bourne in this match is the only negative I can think of here. Really happy with this one. I'm a Punk fan so I'm getting my false hopes up that they will get behind him again.
25 DIVA BATTLE ROYALE
This was useless. Terrible. We spent half the match trying to find Sunny. No Trish. No interest. No point.
JERICO VS LEGENDS
Forget Mickey Rourke. Forget that replay of him hitting Jericho that's probably all over the net right now. I don't give a damn. I don't care about Snuka, or Piper, or even the Flair cameo (though I respect he didn't cave in and wrestle). This was all about Ricky Steamboat. FIFTY-SIX years old doing the flying body press like it was 1989. They wisely kept it short before he could blow up, but goddammit for those few minutes the Dragon was on my TV, kicking ass. I can only imagine the real life Chris Jericho marking out inside so hard being in the ring with this man. SO impressive.
And for the record, a few years ago, the WWE supposedly nixed a Steamboat/Flair match. Can you believe that? Anyhow, this had disaster potential written all over and they did everything right to the best of their abilities. They protected Jericho, respected the legends, and go the Mania moment with Rourke. It was a bit anticlimactic, but good nonetheless.
HARDY VS HARDY
While I still think this would have been much more exciting with Christian as the heel, the Brothers Hardy did a good job. I was wrong about this match, the Extreme Rules stip did help!
As I said last week, having Matt go over here was the best possible outcome. Granted they tried very hard with the storyline build up.
This is no Bret Vs Owen, but the Hardy's as good as they are, will never be the Harts. I thought they did some innovative stuff, and built the match well. I thought the finish was brutal and effective.
Honestly, this was probably one of the smarter booking decisions of the show. Matt desperately needs to be elevated and it gave him a clean victory over his brother and will allow the storyline to continue (should they choose to do so). The difference between Matt and Jeff is very obvious. They both connect with the audience but in different ways. Jeff was more a grassroots thing that the company couldn't ignore after a certain point. Matt always needs that extra push from the company, but they always seem to lose steam with him.
Anyhow, not sure what they are doing with these guys post draft, but there is still some mileage left in this feud. They need to figure out what to do with these two AFTER they're done with it.
JBL VS REY MYSTERIO
Ok, despite the horrible Joker outfit (WHY SO SERIOUS, REY?) they kept Rey strong. However, why didn't they make this a loser leaves town match? Imagine how much cooler that would've been. There was such a better way to build this. Having Rey win in such a convincing fashion is great, but applying some simple wrestling booking 101 could have made this something special.
Instead, he quits? Yes, it's legit JBL is retiring, but at least make it memorable. He's not a great wrestler, but he's a great heel and great on the stick, so let him go out in a much more dramatic way. A lost opportunity.
UNDERTAKER VS SHAWN MICHAELS
As I said last week,
"this is going to be the match everyone remembers from this Mania". It was a classic.
Perfect booking. It was stiff as hell and the psychology was off the charts.
All the young wrestlers and John Cena should watch this match. I told you the streak wasn't going to break. At this point, it's not worth breaking till the Deadman retires (and why even break the streak at all). Both men stepped up their games once again to deliver the first match of the year contender.
It's going to be a tough one to live up to. HBK is untouchable. He could job to Santino Marella at this point and not suffer for it. If next year is HBK's last, I can't even imagine who he would face. He's got a lot to live up to after his last two Manias, as does the Taker, but no doubt it will be amazing. I can't even imagine this company without these two guys. I hate the thought.
They should have closed with this cause it killed everything after.
CENA VS SHOW VS EDGE
This match was amazing to me and it had nothing to do with the match itself. Actually the match wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. It still wasn't great or Mania worthy and a total waste of Edge, but what amazed me is how NOT over Cena was during this. They once again gave him a pop deflating entrance that was derivative (of Eminem) and made no sense. It shows you how out of touch the powers that be are. This match had little life, or interest and poor Edge after headlining with Taker in a classic last year is stuck with this? Sucks. He could have at least carried Cena to a great singles match (again). So Cena is champ. Again. Could they do something interesting like turn him heel or have Punk come cash in the MITB and surprise everyone? Guess not.
Everything on this show, especially this, felt very conservative. The booking is timid. Cena to me is just a lost cause. Sure he's a loyal soldier, but that loyalty doesn't seem to lead to a hustle towards improving his in ring skills. Thus no respect. They could turn him heel, but I think the memory of Austin's supposed "failed" heel turn back in the day still haunts them. What they don't get is 95% of their audience loved Austin. I would say only half of their audience likes Cena. You can always turn him back! Anyhow...
http://www.ugo.com/sports/wrestlemania-25/
HHH VS ORTON
All I can ask here, is who booked THIS crap? This SHOCKED me. It was lifeless. All of that wonderful build up and we got something that wouldn't even qualify as a dramatic Velocity match. If this is HHH's doing, then the man has truly lost his mind and become a McMahon. This helped NO ONE. Now, I bet you tonight on Raw they try to do some kind of Dusty Finish where Orton uses the sledgehammer excuse to get the belt off HHH, but couldn't they have done that there and given this goddamn show some needed drama? We needed run-ins, ref bumps and all those classic Pat Patterson ideas that make this stuff feel special. Instead, they wrestled. And it did nothing for the wrestlers, the show, the belt, the storyline or the company. No drama, no Wrestlemania moment. Nothing. We're talking two top guys in a great feud who we all know have the capacity to deliver. So what happened?
In conclusion, I felt like this Mania lacked all of the Mania moments. No shocks. No turns. No drama. Yeah a few HOLY SHIT moments of physicality, but we are watching a Soap Opera here and they delivered nothing in terms of the drama we need. They need to stop being so, I don't know, restrained. I know it's all rated PG now, but there is a way to still tell good stories. They are forgetting that.
