How To Tell When He Or She Is Wrong For You?
Sometimes, people pretend to themselves that sexual desire, the fear of being alone, or the hope for financial and other social advantages can be turned into feelings of love. Before marrying, persons need to ask themselves the following questions about their partners:
1. Does he or she have several close friends?
A person who has learned to enjoy and foster intimate friendships can put this talent to work in a marriage relationship. But if no one likes him or her well enough to be a close friend, shouldn't you wonder why you like him or her?
2. Do you keep putting off introducing him or her to your friends and relatives?
Does he or she put off introducing you to his or her friends and relatives? Why? A hesitancy to show off a partner to those people who are most important to you may be a sign of uncertainty: Will the family and friends think it is a mistake?
3. If the love relationship folded, would you still want to keep each other as friends?
For some lovers, this seems impossible. But the question here is whethere the two people share enough respect and interests to want to be together even if no longer sexually intimate. Marriage involves companionship as well as sexual attraction.
4. Do you spend most of your time trying to stay out of his or her bed?
A yes to this question can point up one of two problems: Either the "chemistry" just isn't there for you -- and probably never will be -- or your partner's emphasis on the importance of sex in an intimate relationship is considerably different from yours.
5. Are you happy with the way he or she treats other people?
If he or she is condescending or rude -- even physically violent -- to others, you'll get the same treatment eventually. Watch how he or she deals with employees, waitresses, maids, salesclerks, parking-lot attendants, telephone operators, and so forth. Also, study his or her behaviour with family members and close friends. If he or she doesn't treat them the way you want him or her to treat you, he or she is wrong for you. You may be an exception now, during courtship, but you won't be later.
6. Do you know what he or she is like sexually?
7. Was your life stimulating and satisfying before you met her or him?
"Never, never bind yourself to someone because you need him or her to transform your unsatisfactory life into a super one."
8. Do you often feel apprehensive about your future happiness together?
Little panics are normal, but they should be few and far between. If you are apprehensive more often than optimistic, this should serve as a warning signal.
9. Are there taboo topics that you cannot discuss with each other?
Good relationships are built on trust, respect, spontaneity, and lack of stress. People are free to talk about almost anything. Even thought they may hold very different views, not many subjects are taboo. Topics that have a bearing on the relationship are never taboo.
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dis is long but interesting... EnJoY..!!
Sometimes, people pretend to themselves that sexual desire, the fear of being alone, or the hope for financial and other social advantages can be turned into feelings of love. Before marrying, persons need to ask themselves the following questions about their partners:
1. Does he or she have several close friends?
A person who has learned to enjoy and foster intimate friendships can put this talent to work in a marriage relationship. But if no one likes him or her well enough to be a close friend, shouldn't you wonder why you like him or her?
2. Do you keep putting off introducing him or her to your friends and relatives?
Does he or she put off introducing you to his or her friends and relatives? Why? A hesitancy to show off a partner to those people who are most important to you may be a sign of uncertainty: Will the family and friends think it is a mistake?
3. If the love relationship folded, would you still want to keep each other as friends?
For some lovers, this seems impossible. But the question here is whethere the two people share enough respect and interests to want to be together even if no longer sexually intimate. Marriage involves companionship as well as sexual attraction.
4. Do you spend most of your time trying to stay out of his or her bed?
A yes to this question can point up one of two problems: Either the "chemistry" just isn't there for you -- and probably never will be -- or your partner's emphasis on the importance of sex in an intimate relationship is considerably different from yours.
5. Are you happy with the way he or she treats other people?
If he or she is condescending or rude -- even physically violent -- to others, you'll get the same treatment eventually. Watch how he or she deals with employees, waitresses, maids, salesclerks, parking-lot attendants, telephone operators, and so forth. Also, study his or her behaviour with family members and close friends. If he or she doesn't treat them the way you want him or her to treat you, he or she is wrong for you. You may be an exception now, during courtship, but you won't be later.
6. Do you know what he or she is like sexually?
7. Was your life stimulating and satisfying before you met her or him?
"Never, never bind yourself to someone because you need him or her to transform your unsatisfactory life into a super one."
8. Do you often feel apprehensive about your future happiness together?
Little panics are normal, but they should be few and far between. If you are apprehensive more often than optimistic, this should serve as a warning signal.
9. Are there taboo topics that you cannot discuss with each other?
Good relationships are built on trust, respect, spontaneity, and lack of stress. People are free to talk about almost anything. Even thought they may hold very different views, not many subjects are taboo. Topics that have a bearing on the relationship are never taboo.
-----
dis is long but interesting... EnJoY..!!
