Rib Ticklingly funny Hadiths!

[Idi Amin]

Al Hadis, Vol 1, p. 688, No. 236,

Abul Juhaim-b-Hares reported, "I saw the Prophet when he was urinating. I saluted him, but he did not return the salute... He struck it (his penis) with a stick, rubbed his hands on the wall and then his face, and saluted me." Sharhi Sunnat.

can v marry..???????

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Al Hadis, Vol 1, p. 686, no. 74,

Abdur Rahman-b-Hasannah reported, "the messenger of Allah came out to the privy with a leather shield in his hand. He put it down, took his seat, and urinated against it. We said,'Look, the Prophet urinates just like a woman...'

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Bukhari:V4B54N421

"I walked hand in hand with the Prophet when the sun was about to set. We did not stop looking at it. The Prophet asked,'Do you know where the sun goes at sunset?' I replied,'Allah and His Apostle know better.' He said,'It travels until it falls down and prostrates Itself underneath the Throne. The angels who are in charge of the sun prostrate themselves, also. The sun asks permission to rise again. It is permitted. Then it will prostrate itself again but this prostration will not be accepted. The sun then says, "My Lord, where do You command me to rise, from where I set or from where I rose?" Allah will order the sun to return whence it has come and so the sun will rise in the west. And that is the interpretation of the statement of Allah in the Qur'an.'"

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Tabari I:204 "I asked the Prophet,'Where was Allah before His creation?' Muhammad replied:'He was in a cloud with no air underneath or above it.'"

 

[dilankandy]

Tabari I:204 "I asked the Prophet,'Where was Allah before His creation?' Muhammad replied:'He was in a cloud with no air underneath or above it.'"

What?? who created that cloud? Harry potterda?

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

What?? who created that cloud? Harry potterda?

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Jabir reported: I heard Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying that the inmates of Paradise would eat and drink but would neither spit, nor pass water, nor void excrement, nor suffer catarrah. It was said: Then, what would happen with food? Thereupon he said: They would belch and sweat (and it would be over with their food), and their sweat would be that of musk and they would glorify and praise Allah as easily as you breathe.

Sahih Muslim 40:6798

 

[Rux]

@hafizsaad, Everything posted is the truth, you just don't want to believe it.

YOU'RE TELLING US TO MIND OUR BUSINESS WHEN YOU COME HERE PREACHING YOUR 'CULT' AND IN THE PROCESS, DISRESPECT ALL OTHER RELIGIONS? You hypocrite, think about your actions.

No one wants to hear you preaching your cult in Elakiri. Get out since you claim to mind your own business.

You don't even have the right to bring racism into this debate. You people are the biggest and most hateful racists to inhabit this planet, if there's anyone racist here, it's you.

Muslims thinking Buddhism is a modified form of Hinduism just goes to show how stupid and ignorant your people are. From your retarded way of thinking, Islam is just a mix of Judaism and Christianity, all your 'prophet' did was add the sadism, hate and idiocy. He forgot about Zoroastrianism, another Abrahamic religion which he could have copied from, because he too was an ignorant idiot like you Muslims.

Buddhism and its teachings can defend every single aspect of it against the ignorance and utter stupidity of you Muslims any day. Don't even bring logic into this, your prophet was the one who was hearing 'voices in his head' telling him what to do, I don't consider that to be logical, just a SEVERE case of psychosis which he clearly needed medical attention for.

Idiot.

 

[Wal Bada]

Pana yanawaa hinaa wela

 

[smallvilleclerk50]

Pana yanawaa hinaa wela

ඩෝන්ට් ඉන්සල්ට්

 

[මරක්කල]

Pana yanawaa hinaa wela

budu bana kiyala maduruwo marana dalai laamala dakkama matath hinaa yanawa.

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Ha anyone tried camel piss on DENGI Virus?? ;P

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Mulsims have 1 intestine and us kaffirs have 7 intestines LMFAO:

Mulsims have 1 intestine and us kaffirs have 7 intestines LMFAO:

Volume 7, Book 65, Number 305:
Narrated Nafi':

Ibn 'Umar never used to take his meal unless a poor man was called to eat with him. One day I brought a poor man to eat with him, the man ate too much, whereupon Ibn 'Umar said, "O Nafi'! Don't let this man enter my house, for I heard the Prophet saying, "A believer eats in one intestine and a kafir (unbeliever) eats in seven intestines."

 

[dilankandy]

Mulsims have 1 intestine and us kaffirs have 7 intestines LMFAO:

Volume 7, Book 65, Number 305:
Narrated Nafi':

Ibn 'Umar never used to take his meal unless a poor man was called to eat with him. One day I brought a poor man to eat with him, the man ate too much, whereupon Ibn 'Umar said, "O Nafi'! Don't let this man enter my house, for I heard the Prophet saying, "A believer eats in one intestine and a kafir (unbeliever) eats in seven intestines."

lole lolz... Welcome back!

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Shai Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71, Number 660: Narrated Aisha:

Magic was worked on Allah's Apostle so that he used to think that he had sexual relations with his wives while he actually had not (Sufyan said: That is the hardest kind of magic as it has such an effect).

 

[ashraffalijawfer]

May Allah guide those who have stupidly underestimated our religion!

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Volume 7, Book 65, Number 323:
Narrated Sad:

I was one of (the first) seven (who had embraced Islam) with Allah's Apostle and we had nothing to eat then, except the leaves of the Habala or Hubula tree, so that our stool used to be similar to that of sheep. Now the tribe of Bani Asad wants to teach me Islam; I would be a loser and all my efforts would be in vain (if I learn Islam anew from them).

 

[Zahina Rishad]

Mulsims have 1 intestine and us kaffirs have 7 intestines LMFAO:

Volume 7, Book 65, Number 305:
Narrated Nafi':

Ibn 'Umar never used to take his meal unless a poor man was called to eat with him. One day I brought a poor man to eat with him, the man ate too much, whereupon Ibn 'Umar said, "O Nafi'! Don't let this man enter my house, for I heard the Prophet saying, "A believer eats in one intestine and a kafir (unbeliever) eats in seven intestines."

LOL Thats Funny!

 

[gazaly]

LOL Thats Funny!

අහ්' උඹ ආයිත් ආවද?

 

[chamikara.g]

මචන් මොනවද මෙ Hadith කියන්නෙ?

විහිලු විදිහට නම් මෙව නරක නැහැ but what are they doing in the religious section?