love or marriage ???

rukey184

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  • Aug 14, 2010
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    lassana adhahastikak.hebei apita kiyanna be adaadhare karala wiwaha wena ekadha wiwaha wela aaadhare karana eka hoda kiyala...... mokadha oya dhiwidhihema saarthaka saha asaarathaka pethi tiyenawa.hebei magenam paudh galika aadhare karala wiwaha wena eka hodhai kiyala.mokadha aadhare kiyanne harima sundhara adhdhekeemak. :)
     
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    kandyan

    Well-known member
  • Oct 1, 2006
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    ගෙවුණු කාලයේ මටත් අඳුනගන්න ලැබුණු හොඳ මිතුරියක් වගේම සහෝදරියක් කිව්වොත් නිවැරදියි. අපේ යාලුවෝ සෙට් එකත් එක්ක සෑහෙන හිතවත් කමක් ගොඩ නැගුනා පසුගිය කාලයේ........
    ඔබට ජය..

    කියල තියෙන දේ නම් සහතික ඇත්ත. නමුත් ඉතින් මිනිස්සු විදියට අපිට ඒ වගේ ආදරය කර කර ෆන් ගන්න කාලයක් තියෙනවා වගේම ටිකක් පරිණත උනාම විවාහය, දරු මල්ලන් හැදීම වගේ දේවලුත් තියෙනවා.

    ඉතින් මගේ අදහස නම් කිසිම දෙකට පමා නොවී වැඩ කටයුතු කරගන්න කියන එකයි.පෘතජ්ජන මිනිස්සු විදියට කිසිම දවසක දවසක අපිට එකම විදියට ජීවිත කළෙම ඉන්න බැහැ. ඒ හින්ද ආදරය කරන කාලෙට පමා නොවී ආදරය කරන්න ඕන.
    නමුත් එකට වෙලාවක් හෝ අවස්තාවක් නොලැබුණා නම් ඒ ගැන හිතන්නේ නැතුව හොඳට හොයල බලල විවාහයක් කරගන්න එක තමයි හොඳ.
    නැත්නම් ඒ ගැන පසුතැවෙන්නේ පස්සේ වයසට ගියාම.
    සමහරු නම් කියන්න පුළුවන් ප්‍රශ්නයක් නැහැ තනියම ඉන්න එක හොඳටම හොඳයි කියල.
    මම ඒ ගැන තර්ක කරන්නේ නැහැ. නමුත් ඕනෑම කෙනෙකුට ඒ තනිකම දැනෙන දවසක් එනවා.....
    මේ මාතෘකාව ගැන කතා කරන්න බැහැ වචන කීපයකින්.

     
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    Dewrangi

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  • Mar 26, 2013
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    Never said you were a brother :).

    all I'm saying is you live in a culture where you from the very beginning are conditioned to believe you won't be happy unless you share your life with a partner..

    I don't think making compromises at the workplace quite come close to doing it on a daily basis at home to make a partner happy and to make yourself happy with that partner..marriage or love aren't thing you can take a break from. I don't know about you, I myself sometimes want to take a break and be myself. but if you will, you can take comfort in your misery. I bet in your years of marriage you wanted at least once or twice to be free from all that didn't you.

    the point is, you don't have to make above mentioned sacrifices and compromises if you are not depending on other people like you do in a marriage. it's sort of freaky that you all think making sacrifices is actually ok where it is not. people need people, I'm not talking about total isolation, but in love, you pay for things you didn't bargain for in the first place...that's just not good business..and now don't tell me love or marriage isn't business..cos it is. you give them something, they give you something.

    This is your attitude. I cannot change it. Personally, I am a very independent person, and I was raised in a such a way to be independent. I was born in a village and I schooled in Colombo and all my graduate and post-grad are from Colombo universities, and now I live (for my work) in US with my husband. So, this culture issue, I really don't understand. My parents never forced me for a marriage, but they loved me a lot. I lost my dad the day before of final subject in my bachelors. Still, I sat for the exam, scored an A pass and graduated with first class degree. Then I got my PhD and now, I am a Scientist working on research, which is a really stressful thing than marriage life.Compared to what I have seen in this world, I don't think you know even 10% of it. I survived so many hardships to study and to take care of my family even before I found my husband and got married. So, don't assume that I am traditional Sri Lankan house wife, and I don't need somebody just for my survival. If you have seen, what the life is other than the marriage, living a good marriage life is not a big deal.

    Talking about my self, working in a country like US, in a high profile and highly competitive job, is a very tactful thing, you have to play a tough role on daily basis specially in a field like research. I think in every job, you have your own responsibilities and duties, which involves අට ලෝ දහම, but you just ignore it. But, when it comes to marriage, it is a big deal.That is how you feel it.

    In my personnel life, I don't have to think much, since I made the right choice. I love being home and with my husband, I am 100% myself. I don't know about other people,but I don't depend on anybody, but I do take care and I do love my husband and my family. My husband is the same. Of course, making sacrifice is 100% ok, for a person, who slept in a railway station overnight, when I was hospitalized and for a person who feed me when I am sick, force me to see a Doctor when I am ignorant about my self, who sit and wait to have dinner until I am done with the kitchen, who shares his life with me, and who cares about me thousand times more than I do..Even, if he doesn't do any of these things, for me it Ok to feel for him, since I love him, I do feel his love and he is the only person I can trust in this world except my mom and my brother. Then it is not a business, it is how much you feel for each other. It is like how much you feel for your mom and dad, even if they haven't done anything to you, they gave you the chance to see this world. Also, in my terms, sacrifices are not for the things or people that you are depending on, sacrifices are for the things that you love or that you want to secure for the rest of your life even if you get a zero benefit from it.

    It is not being dependent on your partner, it is sharing the life.You are the only person who is responsible for yourself. It is my theory. Home is the only place that you can be your self. But, for all these of course, you have to find the right person, there is no point doing all these for a person, who do the marriage for a business, in sense of money or expecting something back.

    I am really sorry if the answer too long, Probably, it is too much about my life, but seeing your comment, felt like writing this.
     

    twisted

    Well-known member
  • Feb 21, 2008
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    This is your attitude. I cannot change it. Personally, I am a very independent person, and I was raised in a such a way to be independent. I was born in a village and I schooled in Colombo and all my graduate and post-grad are from Colombo universities, and now I live (for my work) in US with my husband. So, this culture issue, I really don't understand. My parents never forced me for a marriage, but they loved me a lot. I lost my dad the day before of final subject in my bachelors. Still, I sat for the exam, scored an A pass and graduated with first class degree. Then I got my PhD and now, I am a Scientist working on research, which is a really stressful thing than marriage life.Compared to what I have seen in this world, I don't think you know even 10% of it. I survived so many hardships to study and to take care of my family even before I found my husband and got married. So, don't assume that I am traditional Sri Lankan house wife, and I don't need somebody just for my survival. If you have seen, what the life is other than the marriage, living a good marriage life is not a big deal.

    Talking about my self, working in a country like US, in a high profile and highly competitive job, is a very tactful thing, you have to play a tough role on daily basis specially in a field like research. I think in every job, you have your own responsibilities and duties, which involves අට ලෝ දහම, but you just ignore it. But, when it comes to marriage, it is a big deal.That is how you feel it.

    In my personnel life, I don't have to think much, since I made the right choice. I love being home and with my husband, I am 100% myself. I don't know about other people,but I don't depend on anybody, but I do take care and I do love my husband and my family. My husband is the same. Of course, making sacrifice is 100% ok, for a person, who slept in a railway station overnight, when I was hospitalized and for a person who feed me when I am sick, force me to see a Doctor when I am ignorant about my self, who sit and wait to have dinner until I am done with the kitchen, who shares his life with me, and who cares about me thousand times more than I do..Even, if he doesn't do any of these things, for me it Ok to feel for him, since I love him, I do feel his love and he is the only person I can trust in this world except my mom and my brother. Then it is not a business, it is how much you feel for each other. It is like how much you feel for your mom and dad, even if they haven't done anything to you, they gave you the chance to see this world. Also, in my terms, sacrifices are not for the things or people that you are depending on, sacrifices are for the things that you love or that you want to secure for the rest of your life even if you get a zero benefit from it.

    It is not being dependent on your partner, it is sharing the life.You are the only person who is responsible for yourself. It is my theory. Home is the only place that you can be your self. But, for all these of course, you have to find the right person, there is no point doing all these for a person, who do the marriage for a business, in sense of money or expecting something back.

    I am really sorry if the answer too long, Probably, it is too much about my life, but seeing your comment, felt like writing this.

    you make it sound too personal. I couldn't get past the first few lines of your post cos I'm not interested in your personal information. but from what I gathered, you take my view as a personal attack which I promise it was not. I addressed you assuming you were regular which you may not be, still I stand corrected where it is applied to the masses.

    I can totally appreciate the fact that you can enjoy your marriage, man, I'm even glad for you, yet, the fact that it puts unnecessary weight on ones shoulders is not to be ignored. kinda in the same league as your overstressful job. it could have been your marriage fortunate for you which it wasn't. both require a normal human being do something he/she wasn't meant to in the first place. your a research scientist doing rather stressful work why?
    cos it satisfies you in a sense of duty to your fellow human beings? or you contrive for greater goodness at the cost of your own freedom? or is it for money? I know not. but the way I see things, it achieves nothing however important to world it may seem to you, it changes nothing. world will be what it is, people will be who they are...same as in your ability to raise a family in love, though it worked for you, somebody else will try to do it for other reasons, love change, what if you wake up next morning to find yourself not anymore in love with your husband anymore? it happens doesn't it. or what if your husband couldn't love you anymore? what'd you do then? these are all practical problems that come with holy matrimony :) too much to deal with when you are emotionally involved. same with your profession and your marriage.

    amendment..

    I later did read your whole post twice. you have pulled through many a point that could have gone wrong, that other people get wrong. lucky you.
    you think if they went thru the hardship and failed, (hardship don't guarantee perfect success, you had other good counterparts working for you like your husband), you think it would've still been worthwhile? in another time, another place, your hubby might not have waited for you asleep or awake at the railway station...you might not have gotten your academic qualifications. and in this time and place, it happens to majority, all in the name of love, good future according to todays standards and marriage.

    rare and lucky(?) are the ones who get all these. :)
     
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    U_knw_me

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    Jan 26, 2013
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    Life 2ma hondai...:yes::yes::yes:
    වගකිමෙන්ද කියන්නේ ????? :eek::eek::eek:

    First LOVE---- Then Understand------->>>>>> then proceed to MARRIAGE with lots of loving moments....
    else both will be BULLSHIT...

    thanx අයියා :yes::yes:

    ;)

    :)

    :yes:

    same here :(

    JC_drink.gif
    JC-hysterical.gif
    අපෝ බෙබාල :frown:

    යාළුවා;16222780 said:
    ලැජ්ජයි
    ඒ මොකෝ ??? :confused:

    mata sinhala,,uyanna puluwan,kellek hoyala diyallako.
    dan badinna kale hari wage:O
    ජීවිත කාලෙම ගෑනිගෙන් කන්න වගේ යන්නේ :lol::lol::lol:
     

    IveyStyle

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    Aug 9, 2010
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    SiriLankawe
    වගකිමෙන්ද කියන්නේ ????? :eek::eek::eek:



    thanx අයියා :yes::yes:

    ;)

    :)

    :yes:


    අපෝ බෙබාල :frown:

    ඒ මොකෝ ??? :confused:


    ජීවිත කාලෙම ගෑනිගෙන් කන්න වගේ යන්නේ :lol::lol::lol:
    rase wenasak nathnam,jeewitha kalema kana eka koi taram hodada:lol:
     

    U_knw_me

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    ewmdyn

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    Adaraya:- Yam deyak laba ganimata thiyena asimetha ashawa nathnam balawath kamaththa, sithuwilla api adaraya kiyana vacheneyata peralala yam barak/vatinakamak denna darana asrathaka uthshayakin api apiyama rawattaganimak pamanai methana sidu wennae.

    marriage is a commitment , but why we have to die for it?
     
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    U_knw_me

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    තමන් අතට තම අතමය සෙවනැල්ල ...​


    පුද්ගලයාගෙන් පුද්ගලයාට ඕක වෙනස් වෙනවා මන් හොදට දන්නා කෙනෙක් ඉන්නවා අවුරුදු 12 ක් ලව් කරලා මැරී කලා බට් මාස දෙකයි හිටියේ එකට ඉන්න බැරි උනා ... ලව් කරපු කාලේ මාරම ලව් එකක් ඒක ...:love::love::love:

    ඒ වගේම ඉතින් ඔයා නෙහාරා වගේ මැරී කරලා .. පස්සේ ලව් කරලා .. ආයෙත් මැරී කරන අයත් ඉන්නවා ... ඔන්න ඔහේ වෙන දෙයක් වෙන්න දීලා බලන් ඉන්න අක්කේ මේ අපේ ගෙදරිනුත් මාව කන්න හදනවා ... මැරී කරන්න කියලා .. :angry::angry::angry:

    කියල වැඩක් නෑ .... හරියට නිකං අපිව උස්සන් ඉන්නවා වගේ :oo::oo::oo: