Rib Ticklingly funny Hadiths!

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Book 023, Number 5022:

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: None of you should drink while standing; and if anyone forgets, he must vomit

හිටගෙන වතුර බොන්න එපා! බිව්වොත් වමනෙ දාපල්ලා. මේ විද්‍යාත්මක හඩිත් ! හික් හික් හික්z

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

ගියෙ නැත්තන් නාන්න එපා

EMISSION OF SEMEN MAKES BATH OBLIGATORY

Book 3, Number 0674:

Sa'id al-Khudri narrated it from his father : I went to Quba' with the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) on Monday till we reached (the habitation) of Banu Salim. The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) stood at the door of 'Itban and called him loudly. So he came out dragging his lower garnment. Upon this the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said : We have made this man to make haste 'Itban said : Messenger of Allah, if a man parts with his wife suddenly without seminal emission, what is he required to do (with regard to bath)? The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said : It is with the seminal emission that bath becomes obligatory.

ගියෙ නැත්තන් නාන්න එපා

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Hadeeth No. 3080,

Narrated Abu Huraira, beware of braying donkeys!
The Prophet said, "When you hear the crowing of cocks, ask for Allah's Blessings for (their crowing indicates that) they have seen an angel. And when you hear the braying of donkeys, seek Refuge with Allah from Satan for (their braying indicates) that they have seen a Satan."

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Women are crooked.

Women are crooked.

Volume 4, Book 55, Number 548:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah 's Apostle said, "Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."

 

[dilankandy]

Hadeeth No. 3080,

Narrated Abu Huraira, beware of braying donkeys!
The Prophet said, "When you hear the crowing of cocks, ask for Allah's Blessings for (their crowing indicates that) they have seen an angel. And when you hear the braying of donkeys, seek Refuge with Allah from Satan for (their braying indicates) that they have seen a Satan."

Eka wendathi ape patte muslim gewal wala kukullu athi karanne...

 

[IcedEarth]

Eka wendathi ape patte muslim gewal wala kukullu athi karanne...

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Volume 8, Book 82, Number 795:

Narrated Anas:

The Prophet cut off the hands and feet of the men belonging to the tribe of 'Uraina and did not cauterise (their bleeding limbs) till they died.

ඔව් මේ රිලිජන් ඔෆ් පීස් තමා. මේන්න අපේ ප්‍රොපට් ගේ කරුනාවන්ත වැඩ. පීස්!

 

[ela_eluwa120]

වෝට් කලාට ස්තූතියි සහෝ..

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Asses, women and black dogs invalidate prayers.

Book 004, Number 1032:

Abu Dharr reported: The Messenger of 'Allah (may peace be upon him) said: When any one of you stands for prayer and there is a thing before him equal to the back of the saddle that covers him and in case there is not before him (a thing) equal to the back of the saddle, his prayer would be cut off by (passing of an) ass, woman, and black Dog. I said: O Abu Dharr, what feature is there in a black dog which distinguish it from the red dog and the yellow dog? He said: O, son of my brother, I asked the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) as you are asking me, and he said: The black dog is a devil

ගෑනු බූරුවො සහ කලු බල්ලෝ නිසා ප්‍රෙයර් එකට කෙලවෙනවලු! ගෑනුයි බල්ලොයි බුරුවොයි සම තත්වේ නේ?? අනේ පව්, කලු බල්ලෙක් කියන්නේ ෂියාටාන්.. හික් හික්..

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Month of Women

Tabari I:280 wrote:

"Allah said,‘It is My obligation to make Eve bleed once every month as she made this tree bleed.

A friend interpreted this hadith as follows:

I must also make Eve stupid, although I created her intelligent.

Because Allah afflicted Eve, all of the women of this world menstruate and are stupid.

 

[සුදර්ම]

EMISSION OF SEMEN MAKES BATH OBLIGATORY

Book 3, Number 0674:

. So he came out dragging his lower garnment. Upon this the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said : We have made this man to make haste 'Itban said : Messenger of Allah, if a man parts with his wife suddenly without seminal emission, what is he required to do (with regard to bath)? The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said : It is with the seminal emission that bath becomes obligatory.

ගියෙ නැත්තන් නාන්න එපා

මේවට කවුරුත් උත්තර දෙන්න එන්නේ නෑ නේ. නොදන්න කමද , බයද? මම් හිතන්න නං නෝන්ඩිය. මේ හඩිත් දැක්කට පස්සෙ වහ කාල මැරෙන්නයි වෙන්නෙ මමත් ඉස්ලාම් පවුලක ඉපදුනානං

 

[dilankandy]

මේවට කවුරුත් උත්තර දෙන්න එන්නේ නෑ නේ. නොදන්න කමද , බයද? මම් හිතන්න නං නෝන්ඩිය. මේ හඩිත් දැක්කට පස්සෙ වහ කාල මැරෙන්නයි වෙන්නෙ මමත් ඉස්ලාම් පවුලක ඉපදුනානං

මොන පිස්සුද බන්.. දැනට මුස්ලිම්ලා කීදෙනෙක් එහෙම වහ කාලා මැරිලා ඇද්ද මේවා දැකලා? ඒක තමා අන්ද භක්තිය කියන්නෙ..

 

[maximmax]

Rib Ticklingly funny Hadiths

Ian, Yep, I did send you an e-mail. I was wondering why I hadnt heard back yet. If I were to send you the stock pulley 6-rib to look at, could you and how long would it take to get an 8-rib from you?Thanks,Eric

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Volume 4, Book 54, Number 494:

Narrated Ibn Umar:

Allah's Apostle said, "When the (upper) edge of the sun appears (in the morning), don't perform a prayer till the sun appears in full, and when the lower edge of the sun sets, don't perform a prayer till it sets completely. And you should not seek to pray at sunrise or sunset for the sun rises between two sides of the head of the devil (or Satan)."

 

[dilankandy]

Volume 4, Book 54, Number 494:

Narrated Ibn Umar:

Allah's Apostle said, "When the (upper) edge of the sun appears (in the morning), don't perform a prayer till the sun appears in full, and when the lower edge of the sun sets, don't perform a prayer till it sets completely. And you should not seek to pray at sunrise or sunset for the sun rises between two sides of the head of the devil (or Satan)."

සියවසේ මහා විද්යාජ්ජයා...

 

[ela_eluwa120]

Volume 4, Book 54, Number 494:

Narrated Ibn Umar:

Allah's Apostle said, "When the (upper) edge of the sun appears (in the morning), don't perform a prayer till the sun appears in full, and when the lower edge of the sun sets, don't perform a prayer till it sets completely. And you should not seek to pray at sunrise or sunset for the sun rises between two sides of the head of the devil (or Satan)."

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Volume 4, Book 54, Number 482:#004.054.482
Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "The (Hell) Fire complained to its Lord saying,'O my Lord! My different parts eat up each other.' So, He allowed it to take two breaths, one in the winter and the other in summer, and this is the reason for the severe heat and the bitter cold you find (in weather)."

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Sahih Muslim Book 008, Number 3240:

Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Sahih Muslim Book 008, Number 3240:

Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.

පාරේ යන නාඳුනන ගෑනියෙක් දැක්ක ගමන් පපට් ගේ මෝල් කලන්තෙ ඇවිස්සෙනව. ගෙදර ඇවිත් හම් පදම් කර කර ඉන්න ගෙදර ගෑනිව පැත්ත පෙරල ගන්නව. ඊට පස්සේ කියන්නේ ගෑනි කියන්නේ යකා. තමන්ගේ නැහැදිච්ච කම, වලත්ත කම නෙවේ.

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Al Hadis, Vol 1, p. 688, No. 236,

Abul Juhaim-b-Hares reported, "I saw the Prophet when he was urinating. I saluted him, but he did not return the salute... He struck it (his penis) with a stick, rubbed his hands on the wall and then his face, and saluted me." Sharhi Sunnat.