KUDOS UTOPIA'S JOKE ZONE

[fahadhnazir]

NEVER BE LATE~~!!



A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the Parish. A leading Senator and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had and affair with his boss's wife; taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.
I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.".....
Just as the priest finished his talk, the republican senator arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."
Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE!

 

[fahadhnazir]

LISTEN BEFORE YOU STOP!


Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, Johnny followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself, he ran home and started to tell his mother.
"Mommy I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane . . . ."
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny this is such an interesting story suppose you save the rest of it for supper time.I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight".
At the dinner table Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army".
Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.

 

[kudos_utopia]

ahem ahem..

hehe...hey hi bro

long time no see....

 

[kudos_utopia]

NEVER BE LATE~~!!



A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the Parish. A leading Senator and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had and affair with his boss's wife; taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.
I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.".....
Just as the priest finished his talk, the republican senator arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."
Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE!

patta joke eka

 

[fahadhnazir]

hehe...hey hi bro

long time no see....

yeah malli..mey dawas wala patta busy.. hari hati welawak set wunema na..ithin ithin.. moko wenne mey dawaswala?

 

[kudos_utopia]

yeah malli..mey dawas wala patta busy.. hari hati welawak set wunema na..ithin ithin.. moko wenne mey dawaswala?

me dawas tike nam maara kammali..habai naththal laga laga enawa

 

[fahadhnazir]

DIRTY MIND WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS

It was professor smith's first day at St. Johns medical college as a faculty. Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of 1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class. He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me ask you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said, "Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original size when excited?"
Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female. I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could satisfy his query.
This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye".
The professor applauded for the boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said: "look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) you have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!!!!

 

[fahadhnazir]

me dawas tike nam maara kammali..habai naththal laga laga enawa

ow ne..thawa tika dawasai christmas ekata ne?

 

[fahadhnazir]

THE LIE DETECTOR


One day Jack's dad bought a robot.
The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the
person who lied on the face.
Jack returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why
are you late from school?".
Jack answered, "Dad we had extra classes today ".
Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Jack on his
face.
His dad told him, this robot is special in that he can detect a lie and
will
then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, " Why are
you late?"
"Dad I went for a movie",
"Which movie?"
"The Ten Commandments",
Splatt... Jack got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
"No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen."
"Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful
things."
Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing all this, Jack's mother comes walking out of the kitchen
saying, " After all he is your son, he will be like you"
The robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Jack's mothers face.
Don't ask what the moral of the story is.

 

[kudos_utopia]

ow ne..thawa tika dawasai christmas ekata ne?

yes aiya

can't wait until I get my naththal thaagi....

 

[kudos_utopia]

LISTEN BEFORE YOU STOP!


Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, Johnny followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself, he ran home and started to tell his mother.
"Mommy I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane . . . ."
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny this is such an interesting story suppose you save the rest of it for supper time.I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight".
At the dinner table Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army".
Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.

..elazz....nice joke

 

[marley]

ela ela patta

 

[kudos_utopia]

ela ela patta

 

[kumarasiri]

digatama daapan ko ban!

 

[Michael]

i enjoyed the pics

 

[kumarasiri]

*************************

What's the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.

crappppp!

 

[kudos_utopia]

digatama daapan ko ban!

Hehe...aiyo mata copy and paste karala athi wela

 

[kumarasiri]

Hehe...aiyo mata copy and paste karala athi wela

forum wala oowa balanna giyaama epa wenawa.. ohoma thread ekak thiyena eka sira ban.. kammali welawata daapanz...

 

[kudos_utopia]

forum wala oowa balanna giyaama epa wenawa.. ohoma thread ekak thiyena eka sira ban.. kammali welawata daapanz...

hehe yeah daanna ona kammali welawata ...yes hama thread ekama open kara kara innakota epa wenawa

 

[kudos_utopia]

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Santa's Army

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.

He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

Pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the Secret Service."