Rib Ticklingly funny Hadiths!

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 11, Number 660:

Quote: Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said,“Isn’t he who raises his head before the Imam afraid that Allah may transform his head into that of a donkey or his figure (face) into that of a donkey?”

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Bukhari:Volume 8, Book 82, Number 830:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
A bedouin came to Allah’s Apostle and said, “My wife has delivered a black child.” The Prophet said to him, “Have you camels?” He replied, “Yes.” The Prophet said, “What color are they?” He replied, “They are red.” The Prophet further asked, “Are any of them gray in color?” He replied, “Yes.” The Prophet asked him, “Whence did that grayness come?” He said, “I thing it descended from the camel’s ancestors.” Then the Prophet said (to him), “Therefore, this child of yours has most probably inherited the color from his ancestors.”

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

මේවත් නබි වදන් තමා.!

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Volume 7, Book 71, Number 636:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "The effect of an evil eye is a fact." And he prohibited tattooing.

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

යේක ගල් කැට අතුල්ලලා පුක්ක තුවාල වුනාම මොක්කද කරනව?? යේක මේ ශයන්ටිෆික් හඩිශ් ද?

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Al Hadis, Vol 1, p. 688, No. 236

, Abul Juhaim-b-Hares reported, "I saw the Prophet when he was urinating. I saluted him, but he did not return the salute... He struck it (his penis) with a stick, rubbed his hands on the wall and then his face, and saluted me." Sharhi Sunnat.

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

hadith islam neveyida??

 

[Zahina Rishad]

Al Hadis, Vol 1, p. 688, No. 236

, Abul Juhaim-b-Hares reported, "I saw the Prophet when he was urinating. I saluted him, but he did not return the salute... He struck it (his penis) with a stick, rubbed his hands on the wall and then his face, and saluted me." Sharhi Sunnat.

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

What to say before Sex

Bukhari – Vol. 1, Bk 4, No. 143
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:
The Prophet said, “If anyone of you on having sexual relations with his wife said (and he must say it before starting) ‘In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from Satan and also protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. the coming offspring) from Satan, and if it is destined that they should have a child then, Satan will never be able to harm that offspring.”




​

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

මෙන්න විද්‍යාත්මක ආගම්. බලාගනිල්ලා!

 

[bartict]

Buddhist do mind. They don't go to Pakistani forums to preach Buddhism.

ya but they cry their ass off for some gal buddas destroyed in afghanistan

 

[කිඹුලා බනිස්]

ඔටු හුජ්ජ බීල , මැහි පිහාටු දෙකක් දාපු සුප් බොන්න ඕනේ මොලේ වැඩෙන්න!

 

[Gstar]

ඔටු හුජ්ජ බීල , මැහි පිහාටු දෙකක් දාපු සුප් බොන්න ඕනේ මොලේ වැඩෙන්න!

හ හ හා.. අඩෝ කිඹුලා කොහෙන්ද බන් Recipe එක හොයා ගත්තේ.. ඔය සුප් එකෙන් බැරල් එකක් වත් පොවන්න ඕනෙ ඔය සිරාජ්ට.. ඒත් මොලේ නම් පෑදේයිද කියලා Sure නෑ..

 

[dilankandy]

හ හ හා.. අඩෝ කිඹුලා කොහෙන්ද බන් Recipe එක හොයා ගත්තේ.. ඔය සුප් එකෙන් බැරල් එකක් වත් පොවන්න ඕනෙ ඔය සිරාජ්ට.. ඒත් මොලේ නම් පෑදේයිද කියලා Sure නෑ..

පෑදෙන්න මොලයක් තියෙන්න එපාය බං. පොර දාන සමහර ත්‍රෙඩ් වල තියන ගොන් තර්ක දැක්කම පු* හපාගෙන මැරෙන්න හිතෙනවා..

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Hadith 1:331
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:

The Prophet said, "I have been given five things which were not given to any one else before me.
1. Allah made me victorious by awe,(by His frightening my enemies) for a distance of one month's journey.

2. The earth has been made for me (and for my followers) a place for praying and a thing to perform Tayammum, therefore anyone of my followers can pray wherever the time of a prayer is due.

3. The booty has been made Halal (lawful) for me yet it was not lawful for anyone else before me.

4. I have been given the right of intercession (on the Day of Resurrection).

5. Every Prophet used to be sent to his nation only but I have been sent to all mankind.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT:

SURA 2:285
"We make no distinction between any of His messengers."

 

[watzupdude03]

guys google the fly thing....i didnt beilve it frst!!! im a muslim btw!!

 

[කිඹුලා බනිස්]

Hadith 1:331
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:

The Prophet said, "I have been given five things which were not given to any one else before me.
1. Allah made me victorious by awe,(by His frightening my enemies) for a distance of one month's journey.

2. The earth has been made for me (and for my followers) a place for praying and a thing to perform Tayammum, therefore anyone of my followers can pray wherever the time of a prayer is due.

3. The booty has been made Halal (lawful) for me yet it was not lawful for anyone else before me.

4. I have been given the right of intercession (on the Day of Resurrection).

5. Every Prophet used to be sent to his nation only but I have been sent to all mankind.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT:

SURA 2:285
"We make no distinction between any of His messengers."

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

ඔටු හුජ්ජ බීල , මැහි පිහාටු දෙකක් දාපු සුප් බොන්න ඕනේ මොලේ වැඩෙන්න!

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

මේ ත්‍රෙඩ් එකත් නොදැක්ක වගේ ඉන්නව. උත්තර නැහැ. පව් බං අල්ලයි ඌට වදින එව්වොයි! කුජීතායි!

 

[ex-muslim Ahmed]

Bukhari:V4B54N421 "I walked hand in hand with the Prophet when the sun was about to set. We did not stop looking at it. The Prophet asked,'Do you know where the sun goes at sunset?' I replied,'Allah and His Apostle know better.' He said,'It travels until it falls down and prostrates Itself underneath the Throne. The angels who are in charge of the sun prostrate themselves, also. The sun asks permission to rise again. It is permitted. Then it will prostrate itself again but this prostration will not be accepted. The sun then says, "My Lord, where do You command me to rise, from where I set or from where I rose?" Allah will order the sun to return whence it has come and so the sun will rise in the west. And that is the interpretation of the statement of Allah in the Qur'an.'"