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▀▄▀Jokes ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶Jokes٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶Jokes▀▄▀
- Thread starter sachii
- Start date
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,
"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says,
"What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,
"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".
"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says,
"What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,
"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".
A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.
Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"
Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.
Without them we wouldn't be here."
Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.
To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"
Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"
Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.
Without them we wouldn't be here."
Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.
To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."
therune na
therune na
අවුරුදු 18 කෙල්ලට 54 නාකියගෙන් ලැබෙන දේ එච්චර දැනෙන්නෙ නෑ
බට් අවු 54 ගෑනිට 18 කොල්ලෙගෙන් ලැබෙන දේ....
18 x 4 = 54
අවුරුදු 18 කෙල්ලට 54 නාකියගෙන් ලැබෙන දේ එච්චර දැනෙන්නෙ නෑ
බට් අවු 54 ගෑනිට 18 කොල්ලෙගෙන් ලැබෙන දේ....
18 x 4 = 54
The Black Condom
A 'just married' White couple decided to make love on their wedding night in the hotel.
The wife did not want to get pregnant yet and requested the husband to buy condoms from the shop nearby.
When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off.
The husband had a hard time finding a shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin.
He asks the shop owner to sell him one condom and the shop owner asked him which quality he wanted.
'The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each.' So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents.
While the husband was out, a Black thief came into the room.The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabbed the thief and happily started screwing.
The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep immediately. When the husband reache d the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.
Without a warning, he jumped onto her and started screwing her vigorously. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic and she thoroughly enjoyed the session.
Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a Black baby boy. When the boy grew up, he asked the father. 'Papa, why am I Black and you are White?'
The father shouted 'You are damn lucky, 5 cents more and you would have been PURPLE!'……….
Hahahaha ...
A 'just married' White couple decided to make love on their wedding night in the hotel.
The wife did not want to get pregnant yet and requested the husband to buy condoms from the shop nearby.
When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off.
The husband had a hard time finding a shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin.
He asks the shop owner to sell him one condom and the shop owner asked him which quality he wanted.
'The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each.' So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents.
While the husband was out, a Black thief came into the room.The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabbed the thief and happily started screwing.
The wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep immediately. When the husband reache d the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.
Without a warning, he jumped onto her and started screwing her vigorously. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic and she thoroughly enjoyed the session.
Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a Black baby boy. When the boy grew up, he asked the father. 'Papa, why am I Black and you are White?'
The father shouted 'You are damn lucky, 5 cents more and you would have been PURPLE!'……….
Hahahaha ...
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DIVORCE COURT SCENE :
The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want
to live with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy ?
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, "they
never beat anybody" !!!
The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want
to live with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy ?
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, "they
never beat anybody" !!!
දැන් ඉන්දියාව නෙමෙයි ලංකාව කියලා දාන්න තියෙන්නේDIVORCE COURT SCENE :
The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want
to live with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy ?
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, "they
never beat anybody" !!!
දැන් ඉන්දියාව නෙමෙයි ලංකාව කියලා දාන්න තියෙන්නේ
ඔව් ඔව් අද මැච් එකත් බලලාම නම චේන්ජ් කරනවා..
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