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  1. Moe85

    Microsoft recruiting session

    Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5,000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Fadi Khoury, a Lebanese guy. Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asked those who do not know JAVA program language to leave...
  2. Moe85

    Bush Vs. Abu el Abed‏

    Bush was sitting in his Oval office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Abu el Abed, down 'ere at Qahwet le'jezz in Beirut. I am callin' to tell ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, yes you!"...
  3. Moe85

    Misc Jokes

    Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. > He shoots his friend to death. > Wife says, 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends'. > > ********** > Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus,' send me a brother' > Santa wrote back,' SEND ME YOUR MOTHER' > > ********** > Three...
  4. Moe85

    he's going to get marry‏

    A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try andguess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and...
  5. Moe85

    Tough Love vs Spanking‏

    A lot of people nowadays thinks it's very improper to spank children. So, to give them the benefit of the doubt, I decided to try a couple of other methods to control my kids when they have one of "those moments". One method that I've found very effective is to just take the child for a car...
  6. Moe85

    A woman's wish‏

    >Once there was a Genie. A woman saw him. > >The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, >"Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. >I'm a one-wish genie." >So... what'll it be?" > >The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle >East. See this...
  7. Moe85

    Being Colored

    Being Colored: When I was born...I was BROWN. When I grew up...I was BROWN. When I am sick...I am BROWN When I go out in the sun...I am BROWN. When I go out in the cold...I am BROWN. When I die...I am BROWN. BUT YOU WHITE FOLK : When you are born...You are PINK. When you grow up...You are...
  8. Moe85

    An Asian Lady

    There was an Asian lady married to an English gentleman and They lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English,but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arises whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork...
  9. Moe85

    B-Day Gift‏

    Why i fired my secretary.. Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone...
  10. Moe85

    Just a Joke

    One day there were three nuns standing outside the gates of heaven waiting to enter. St. Peter approached them and asked the first nun, "Do you know who the first man was on earth?" She said, "Ummm that's tough ... Adam?" Bells rang, angels sang, the gates opened, and she walked in. Then...
  11. Moe85

    Dirty Jokes

    The Nuns Joke Three nuns were talking one sunny day in June. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!" "What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash," she...
  12. Moe85

    Falling Woman

    A very Beautiful woman was walking on the roof of a building and she falls down. On her way falling down, an American man catches her, She says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life; I'll do ANYTHING for you...'The man says: 'Okay then, sleep with me.' She says: 'You PIG!! NEVER!!' So he...
  13. Moe85

    What a Lady ...

    An 80-year old woman goes to the doctor. She says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. The problem is that I keep passing a lot of gas. My farts never smell and are always completely silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since...
  14. Moe85

    Going to Israel‏

    A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, "Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?" He took his problem to his best friend. "Ike,"...
  15. Moe85

    Husband store‏

    A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the...
  16. Moe85

    Chinese Talks

    Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ? Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator: I know u are someone and u want...
  17. Moe85

    Puzzle

    Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up ! Quick! my husband is back. Man gets up, jumps out of the window , hurts his ass, then realizes : "Damn, im the husband!" Who is guilty in this situation? this cracked me up pretty bad, ma stomache hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  18. Moe85

    Good one

    A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those >> >> >>headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." >> >> >>"No more headaches?" the husband asks. "What happened?? >> >> >>His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to >> >> >>stand in front...
  19. Moe85

    Do you love your Boss

    >>A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm >>afraid hedied last week", she explains. >> >>The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. >>"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week" >> >>The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his...
  20. Moe85

    Most famous man‏

    One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the > > > >class of 5-year olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was > > > >the most famous man who ever lived. > > An Irish boy put his > > > >hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." > > The teacher...

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