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කථික හැකියාව
- Thread starter negombokollo
- Start date
මට ඕකේ අනිත් පැත්ත බන් ! මන් දන්න හුත්තකුත් නෑ.. හැබැයි දන්නවා වගේ වචන දෙක තුනක් දාලා ගේම ගහා ගන්න නම් පුළුවන්. ! එහෙමයි බන් මේ ජීවත් වෙන්නෙ..
තොපිල දෙන්න බැඳපන්. එතකොට හරි.
අරූ දන්නව කියවන්න බෑ. තෝ දන්නෑ ඒත් කියවනව. දෙන්න එකතුවෙලා එක මිනිහෙක් උනානම් ප්රශ්ණෙ ගොඩ.
mehema karala balapan..
thota rawlen thora jeewithayak nadda dooooow
oyaatath rawulen thora jeewithatak na
1. Try a self-help manual.
Self-help manuals are designed to supplement therapy, but they’re also good tools for working on your own, Weeks said. He suggested the Managing Social Anxiety workbook.
2. Work with a therapist.
If social anxiety is stopping you from doing things you want or need to do, or you haven’t had much success with self-help, seek professional help. Find a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders. You can start your search here.
3. Practice deep breathing every day.
It’s helpful to engage in deep breathing before an anxiety-provoking social situation, Weeks said. But practice this technique every day. This way it becomes second nature, and you don’t hyperfocus on deep breathing and miss an entire conversation, he said. Here’s more on deep breathing.
4. Create an exposure hierarchy.
An exposure hierarchy is a list – akin to a ladder – where you write down situations that cause you anxiety, in order of severity. Then you perform the easiest behavior, and keep moving up the list.
To create your own hierarchy, list 10 anxiety-provoking situations, and rate them on a 100-point scale (zero being no anxiety; 100 being severe anxiety). Your list might start with asking a stranger for directions and end with joining Toastmasters.
This website features a link to various worksheets on coping with social anxiety, and includes “the fear and avoidance hierarchy.” (Look for “managing social anxiety: workbook.”)
5. Create objective goals.
People tend to disqualify the positive when they feel anxious, Weeks said. They might do well, even great, but because of their anxious feelings, they see their performance as abysmal. That’s why therapists encourage clients to create objective behavioral goals, he said.
These are behaviors that anyone in the room would be able to observe. It doesn’t matter how you feel or whether you’re blushing or sweating (which you can’t control anyway) in a social situation.
For instance, if you’re working in a group setting, the objective behavior would be to make three comments, Weeks said.
This also gives you a good barometer for judging your progress. Again, you’re not focusing on whether you felt nervous. Rather, you’re focusing on whether you performed the actual behavior.
Also, avoid focusing on others’ reactions. It doesn’t matter how your colleagues received your idea in the meeting. What matters is that you actually spoke up. It doesn’t matter whether a girl or guy said yes to your dinner invite. What matters is that you actually asked. It doesn’t matter how your child’s teacher reacted when you declined to volunteer for yet another school trip. What matters is that you were assertive and respected your own needs.
As Weeks said, “You did what you wanted to in a situation. We can’t control what another person is going to do.”
6. Keep a rational outlook.
Dispute both bleak thoughts that undermine your performance and fuel your anxiety, and equally unrealistic thoughts that are irrationally positive, Weeks said.
For instance, if you’re giving a speech, you might initially think, “I’m going to bomb.” But if you’ve given speeches before and done well, then this isn’t a rational or realistic perspective. You might say instead, “I’ve given speeches before. I’m prepared, and I’ll give it my best shot.”
If you’re asking someone out, it’s not rational to think, “They’re definitely going to say yes.” But it is rational to consider, “They might,” according to Weeks.
If social anxiety is sabotaging your goals and stopping you from living the life you want, seek help and try the above strategies. Social anxiety is highly treatable, Weeks said. You can get better, and grow in the process.
Self-help manuals are designed to supplement therapy, but they’re also good tools for working on your own, Weeks said. He suggested the Managing Social Anxiety workbook.
2. Work with a therapist.
If social anxiety is stopping you from doing things you want or need to do, or you haven’t had much success with self-help, seek professional help. Find a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders. You can start your search here.
3. Practice deep breathing every day.
It’s helpful to engage in deep breathing before an anxiety-provoking social situation, Weeks said. But practice this technique every day. This way it becomes second nature, and you don’t hyperfocus on deep breathing and miss an entire conversation, he said. Here’s more on deep breathing.
4. Create an exposure hierarchy.
An exposure hierarchy is a list – akin to a ladder – where you write down situations that cause you anxiety, in order of severity. Then you perform the easiest behavior, and keep moving up the list.
To create your own hierarchy, list 10 anxiety-provoking situations, and rate them on a 100-point scale (zero being no anxiety; 100 being severe anxiety). Your list might start with asking a stranger for directions and end with joining Toastmasters.
This website features a link to various worksheets on coping with social anxiety, and includes “the fear and avoidance hierarchy.” (Look for “managing social anxiety: workbook.”)
5. Create objective goals.
People tend to disqualify the positive when they feel anxious, Weeks said. They might do well, even great, but because of their anxious feelings, they see their performance as abysmal. That’s why therapists encourage clients to create objective behavioral goals, he said.
These are behaviors that anyone in the room would be able to observe. It doesn’t matter how you feel or whether you’re blushing or sweating (which you can’t control anyway) in a social situation.
For instance, if you’re working in a group setting, the objective behavior would be to make three comments, Weeks said.
This also gives you a good barometer for judging your progress. Again, you’re not focusing on whether you felt nervous. Rather, you’re focusing on whether you performed the actual behavior.
Also, avoid focusing on others’ reactions. It doesn’t matter how your colleagues received your idea in the meeting. What matters is that you actually spoke up. It doesn’t matter whether a girl or guy said yes to your dinner invite. What matters is that you actually asked. It doesn’t matter how your child’s teacher reacted when you declined to volunteer for yet another school trip. What matters is that you were assertive and respected your own needs.
As Weeks said, “You did what you wanted to in a situation. We can’t control what another person is going to do.”
6. Keep a rational outlook.
Dispute both bleak thoughts that undermine your performance and fuel your anxiety, and equally unrealistic thoughts that are irrationally positive, Weeks said.
For instance, if you’re giving a speech, you might initially think, “I’m going to bomb.” But if you’ve given speeches before and done well, then this isn’t a rational or realistic perspective. You might say instead, “I’ve given speeches before. I’m prepared, and I’ll give it my best shot.”
If you’re asking someone out, it’s not rational to think, “They’re definitely going to say yes.” But it is rational to consider, “They might,” according to Weeks.
If social anxiety is sabotaging your goals and stopping you from living the life you want, seek help and try the above strategies. Social anxiety is highly treatable, Weeks said. You can get better, and grow in the process.
ස්පුන්කිස්සි ද මොකාද පොන්න ඩයල් එක නංගිට හුකන්න කොහොමද කියල ත්රෙඩ් එකක් දැම්මා. මං උගේ පොන්න ආතල් එක කැඩුව. ඒ සැනින් පොන්නය ටිපර් වෙලා ඌ මාව අනුරාධයාගෙ ෆේක් එකක් කිය කිය හැම තැන ම රිරී යනවා.
ඔය ඔක්කොම උගේ ෆේක් බන්.
මේ ගොත පොන්නයා තින්කින් ගයි කියන පොන්ස්ගෙ ෆේක් එකක්. මම මොනව හරි ගණන් ගැන අහල ත්රෙඩ් එකක් දාපු ගමන් තින්කින් ගයි පොන්නයා එනවා සෙනාල් කියාගෙන. මං මේකෙ උන්ව ආතල් එකට ගන්නවා කියාගෙන. සිරාවට ම ආතල් ගත්තෙ නෑ මන්. ඒබව දන්නවා මේකෙ මන් දන්න අයියල දෙතුන් දෙනෙක් ඉන්නවා.
Thinking guy th habai amu baiya ..den penda na habai
4 ම එකාගෙ ම ෆේක් බන්Thinking guy th habai amu baiya ..den penda na habai
@ZeroFire මේ ඔය පොන්ස්ගෙ අලුත් ම ෆේක් එක
mention kara kara haminenna tharam ara comment eka ridunada pons itin ubata
.29 lu.a/l fail lu,private karanna ba gov degree ekakma onalu,gov uni ekakin out una kellek ekkalu inne.athe sathe nati higannek lu මොනාද පොන්නයෝ මේ කියන පොන්න බොරු කතා.තෝ ස්වයංවින්දනය කරනවද comment බල බල
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