Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 3!
Hey kids! If your Mom and Dad can't get you a PlayStation 3 for Christmas, you can still get one
FOR FREE! Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ? Well, He's heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are too cheap to buy! In fact, the Lord Jesus is very upset with your parents that they won't give you all the latest stuff that every kid in America deserves! And Jesus has got your back, because He is your homeboy! If you've never heard of Jesus, He is an invisible cloud-dwelling deity (infinite lives!) who loves you very much and wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 3!
We here at Landover Baptist Church work full-time as servants of Jesus Christ, and He's told us about you and your predicament. He's also given us special instructions on how He wants us to deliver a new PlayStation 3 to your house. It's as easy as 1-2-3! Understand, Jesus cares WAY more about you than your parents EVER will! They will never love you as much as Jesus loves you! Always remember that. If you hate your parents because they can't get you a PlayStation 3 for Christmas, He completely understands! He is totally down with that! In fact, lucky for you, in order to follow Him, you are actually required to hate your parents!
your parents ask you where you got your new PlayStation 3, just tell them that your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, delivered it to you via the U.S. Postal Service in exchange for your soul.
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