▀▄▀Jokes ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶Jokes٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶Jokes▀▄▀

[roshant]

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear:

"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

 

[suranga84]

New Gym Concept

​

 

[amila_banks]

Fattttttttttttttaaazz...................

 

[suranga84]

In the university, lecturer asked to write a note on "Buddha Jayanthi"
So Udurawana writes, "Buddha was born in India & was a great Philosopher , but I don't know who is Jayanthi.

 

[suranga84]

Udurawana: I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Udurawana: No he is not studying, they r Studying him.

 

[suranga84]

Udurawana bought a new mobile.
He sent a message everyone from his Phone Book & said, "My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610

 

[suranga84]

Udurawana: Doctor, In my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Udurawana: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

 

[suranga84]

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Udurawana: The future tense is ...
"u will go to jail"

 

[suranga84]

Once Udurawana was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

 

[suranga84]

Udurawana comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it the pole "Thanks 4 the complement"

 

[suranga84]

Udurawana: People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Udurawana: When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again..

 

[suranga84]

When Udurawana was traveling with his wife in a three wheeler , the driver adjusted mirror.
Udurawana shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

 

[suranga84]

On a political rally Udurawana was arrested.
Why???
A woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" and He did it..

 

[suranga84]

Udurawana was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly Udurawana said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.

 

[suranga84]

A man asked Udurawana why Ratnasiri Wickramanayake goes walking in the
evening and not in the morning
Udurawana replied "Ratnasiri is PM not AM

 

[sameerasa123]

elama ela..thanks all

 

[sachii]

thanks all who added jokes here

 

[marQuis]

Udurawana comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it the pole "Thanks 4 the complement"

 

[ac2000]

elazzz

 

[coolzap]

Mahinda decided to write the MBA exam. He could
understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One
day when he was reading, his old friend Wimal came
home.

Wimal: Mahinda How is your MBA preparation?

Mahinda: Every thing is fine, but I could not
understand Logic.


Wimal: Logic is very easy.

Mahinda: Can you give me an example, so that I can
understand.

Wimal: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: Logically, there will be water in it.

Mahinda : YES.

Wimal: Logically, there will be fish in it.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: I take a guess that your wife will be
feeding the fish.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: so, logically, your are married.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: So, that means U are a heterosexual.

Mahinda was very glad and he understood logic. Next
day he sees Mangala and he wanted to show his
knowledge on Logic to him.

Mahinda : I want to show you my knowledge on Logic

Mangala : Ah.. how do you find it ?.

Mahinda: Oh, logic is easy.

Mangala : Please, give me an example.

Mahinda : Do you have a fish pot in your house?

Mangala : NO, I don't.

Mahinda: "Ammata hudu!, HOMO!!!"

patta machan.....